A Life Altering Situation
by miss-jojjo
Summary: Ricky and Amy meet at camp and spend one night together and then it's back to real life with school and friends, at least they thought until something else came in their way. Basically my perspective on how it all went down. With Ricky/Amy paring...
1. Prologue: Him

**Author note: **

**This is my first fan fiction ever and I hope someone out there might like it. I have written a little bit more than this and I hope that I will be able to upload it soon. **

**It's a big step for me to upload this and I would love to have some feedback on it…**

_**And remember:**_

**Since this is a pure fan fiction, I don't owe anything. **

**Hope you will enjoy reading it / ********Miss-jojjo**

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Prologue: Him

I looked around the cafeteria to see if I could see him again, maybe just a quick glance and a small smile, something that tells me that he has noticed me. I knew who he was, but I couldn't help to feel a bit warm inside at the thought of him liking me. I know I'm just a girl and that there's nothing special with me. But the thought of actually having Ricky Underwood liking me, out of all the girls in camp seemed kind of appealing.

I don't have the experience that some of the girls in my age have and I don't feel sorry for myself because of it. But I deserve to have a summer fling and Band Camp can be more than just music.

The doors to the cafeteria opened up and Ricky walked in. I couldn't dare to look so I continued with eating my lunch and talking to Caroline who I shared a room with. She was talking about some movie where some zombies supposedly ate dogs. I was too occupied in my thoughts to listen so I just mumbled at times and let out "_That's sounds fascinating" _or a "_did they actually do that?" _

"I should go" Caroline suddenly said and it drew me out of my imagination.

"Why?" I asked. Caroline nodded at Ricky who was walking towards are table and then she smiled and then formed a _Good Luck _with her lips.

I was beginning to get nervous but I told myself to act causal.

"Hey" Ricky said as he sat down.

"Hi" I answered him back. I was hoping that it wouldn't be a long and awkward pause, I hated those. Whenever one of those happened I felt like an idiot.

"So?" I said "How's it going?" I then asked. _How's it going? _God, How stupid can you be _Amy. _Did I have to ask something so _lame? _Luckily Ricky didn't seem to think it was lame.

"It's going good, now at least. I was kind of bored before, but not anymore" He said and smiled. I could feel my body heat up again as he said that. Did he mean that I was making his day less boring? Hope so, because he was defiantly making my day more exciting.

"How's it going with you?" Ricky asked me and looked me in the eyes. He had really beautiful eyes, they were dark brown and they fitted well with his dark hair. _Snap out of it, Amy _I told myself.

"It's going just good" I said. I took a bite of my food but regretted it at the same time because I was afraid that I might come out as a slob if I ate.

"Great!" He said "So what are you doing this afternoon?" he asked me straight out which caught me off guard.

"I-I-I don't know" I said a bit stuttering hoping he wouldn't notice it. "I mean I haven't planned anything yet"

"Would you like to come to the lake?" He asked me and I felt my whole body smile and butterflies coming alive in my stomach.

"Sure" I said "why not?" It couldn't exactly hurt me to go down to the lake with him. I know that a lot of people hang out by the lake so I should do it too.

"Good, because there are apparently someone who's made this bonfire and it would be nice if you wanted to go with me?" I wondered if he meant like a date but I'm sure it wasn't anything like that. I know that back home Ricky is like this kind of a player but he seemed kind of honest now and he was probably not playing me.

"Sounds perfect" I said and smiled what I hoped would be a sexy smile.

I looked in the mirror. I looked ok. I hadn't exactly brought any hot clothes with me, but I think I had managed well enough. I was wearing a pair of pretty low cut jeans and a black sweater and under it I was wearing a red bikini. And if it would be chilly I had also grabbed a red sweater which I tied around my waist.

I looked closer and the makeup looked fine as well. But to make it extra good I put some red lipstick on. Yes, that was exactly what I needed. I took my hair out of the ponytail and let it hang loose on my shoulders. I smiled at myself in the mirror and I could feel my stomach getting heavier and heavier. I was definitely nervous and the butterflies were getting a little too many.

The door to the room opened up and Caroline walked in.

"Wow, look at you girl" Caroline said and motioned with her hand for me to make a turn so she could see all of me. I did as I was motioned to do and I couldn't help but to feel extra beautiful.

"Is it ok?" I asked and grinned.

"I think so" Caroline said. "But before you go, check your breath!"

"Good, I don't want to have bad breath" I said.

"Just to be sure, take this." Caroline threw me a bottle of mouth spray and I took some.

"Thank you "I said quiet.

"No worry. A bad breath can truly kill a kiss and we don't want that to happen" she said with a smirk.

"I don't think that it will come to that point" I said shyly and put the bottle down.

"Honey, it is Ricky we're talking about. Of course it will come to that point" Caroline said. "That's all he's interested in and _more_"

"I don't think so, at least not with me. It didn't sound like it when we talked" I said trying to calm myself down and not get too nervous.

"Maybe you're right" Caroline said. "I just don't want to see you get hurt"

"You won't" I smiled.

"Good" she said but she didn't seem convinced.

I looked out the window and saw that Ricky was waiting for me at the flagpole.

"I should go" I said with a smile.

"Ok, But first take a _deep breath_, Amy_" _I inhaled and then exhaled and it calmed me down a little.

"Good girl" Caroline said and laughed a small laugh.

I grinned and walked out the door. It felt like my knees couldn't carry me but I ignored it and just waved a little wave at Ricky as I walked up to him.

Outside it was hot and I was glad that I had chosen to wear something that wasn't warm.

As I walked up to Ricky he smiled at me and of course I returned it. I took a last deep breath and then said

"Hi".

"Hi, yourself" Ricky said breezy while leaning against the flagpole. "You look great by the way"

"Thanks. You cleaned up nice to" I said and looked down at my feet.

"Let's go" Ricky said and took my hand. We walked together hand and hand down to the lake. It was some people there and they had built a bonfire, just like Ricky had said. Everyone seemed happy, chatting around and one guy was playing a guitar while a girl was singing to it. It felt like it was all taken from a movie, that it was just too good to be true.

"Do you want to sit down?" Ricky asked me. I nodded and followed him.

"There's this little place under the trees just around here" He said "It's more quiet and cooler"

"Sounds good" I said and looked around one more time.

We walked by the lake for a minute or two until we got to a little bench under a couple of trees in shadow. It looked sort of nice and I couldn't help to wonder if I was the only one he had taken to this spot or if this was where he took all his girl or whatever I was to him.

I let go of his hand and took a seat at the bench and he came right after me.

"This is nice" I said and looked over at Ricky.

"Yeah, I like this place" He looked back at me "I go here when the camp gets too much and I can just think"

"I understand" I said. "You don't exactly get a lot of privacy around here" I sighed.

"I'm used to not having any privacy anyway" Ricky said a bit sadly.

"Me too" I said without thinking. "My sister Ashley she's like twelve, I mean thirteen and she like knows everything about me because she so nosy all the time. Always interfering in my life and stuff"

"I so know what you mean" Ricky said and shook his head. "It's the same thing with my foster parents. They are always asking where I'm going and about school. Sometimes you just want to do stuff without having to explain yourself" I tried to ignore the fact that Ricky just told me that he lived with a foster family. I didn't know if I should say something or if that would make me look like an idiot. I'm sure he doesn't want people to go around feeling sorry for him just because lives with a pair of foster parents. But at the same I didn't want to seem insensitive by not saying anything, but maybe it was better to just let it go then to look like a fool.

"So do you want to go for a swim?" He asked me.

"I don't know" I felt kind of uncomfortable at the thought even though I had put on a bikini underneath. "It might be cold" I said as an excuse.

"Oh come on" Ricky said and took my hand "It's hot outside and it is summer. You're suppose to go swimming"

"Fine" I said. Hopefully it won't be too bad.

"Good" Ricky said with smile and started to take of his sweater and pants. He had a really hot body and seeing him in only a pair of bathing shorts made me uncomfortable so I focused my attention on my shoes instead. Ricky walked out I the water and I could finally look up.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked me as I stood there watching as he got deeper and deeper out in the water.

"I don't know" I mumbled and then chuckled a little bit under my breath.

"Just so you know it's not cold at all. It's just a little cooling" he said and took a swimming stoke.

I started to take off my shoes and then went on to the jeans. I felt a little weird standing there taking my clothes off in front of him. And last but not least I throw my sweater off.

"Well, here I come!" I announced as I walked slowly into the water. He was right it wasn't cold just cooling. And I really felt like cooling down. I took a swim stroke and I finally was beside Ricky.

"See it wasn't so cold" He said and looked into my eyes.

"I guess you were right" I said and looked around. You could see the camp beach and all the kids over by the bonfire. I could still feel that it was all taken from a movie. Except now, the movie scene was over at me and Ricky. It was perfect, the two of us alone bathing in a lake at the end of the summer. It was all just perfect, maybe even too perfect.

"So this is the last week of camp" I let out with a sigh. "Are you going to miss it?" Ricky looked at me surprised.

"This?" He asked and swam around me. "Playing music every day and swimming around hot chicks" he gave me a big smirk.

"When you put it like that" I said and grinned "It's not really that much to miss, is it?" ignoring the fact that Ricky had just said the he thought I was hot.

"No" Ricky said as he swam closer to me "I can't come to think of single thing that I'm going to miss!"

We were now so close that our bodies almost touched. I could feel his breath on my face and I'm sure he could feel mine as well.

"Are you going to miss anything?" He whispered to me. I shook my head slowly. It was good that my legs were under water because I was sure they were trembling.

"You might want to think of that question again" Ricky once again whispered and then he closed the distant between the two of us and our lips met. It was an amazing feeling, I felt kind of free and independent. I wondered what Lauren and Madison would think of me if they knew I had made out with Ricky Underwood at band camp.

His lips were wet from the water and so were mine. I could feel sparks going up mine spine as I put my arms around his neck and he draw me in closer next to his body. I could feel his hands reaching for my wet hair and the kiss was getting more and more electric.

"So?" Ricky said after minute or two and ended the kiss. "Anything you'll miss?" I shook my head trying to play hard to get, if that was even possible after our kiss.

After our little swim or should I say make out session we took our things and got dressed and soon it wasn't afternoon anymore. Ricky took my hand as we walked towards the bonfire. I didn't know what his intensions were. If I was just some chick he liked at band camp and saw me as an easy opportunity to get some action and once back at school he would forget all about me or if I were someone who he actually liked and would still talk to even when the summer was over. But I pushed that thought away since I didn't feel that it was relevant to be thinking of it, not tonight. Tonight it was just Ricky and me and nothing else mattered.

"Let's take a seat" Ricky said and sat down on a bench right in front of the bonfire. I looked around at the people and I saw Caroline in the crowd of people down by the water and I send her a smile and she waved at me and gave me a thumb up and she continued to be engaged in some conversation with some other girls that I recognized but couldn't put a name to them.

I was beginning to freeze a little after our swim and my body started to quiver a little, which Ricky soon realized.

"Are you cold?" he asked me.

"No" I lied. "I'm just fine"

"You're shaking…" Ricky looked at me questioning.

"I might be a little cold" I said and rubbed my hand together to get the heat up a little".

"This might help" Ricky said as he walked up and got a blanket and then wrapped the two of us in it. "Better?"

"Mhmm…" I said and nodded slightly. "Yeah, it's better"

"Good. I don't want you to get sick" Ricky said in a caring voice.

"Me neither" I said as a thank you.

We just sat there under the blanket taking in the air and the night as it got darker and darker outside. More and more people showed up and everyone was talking intense and some had even brought some music a long and it soon you could hear the latest hits going around the lake and people were soon dancing.

As a slow song came on Ricky reached for me and asked me if I wanted to dance with him. I nodded as a response and I took his hand.

I didn't know which song it was, but I didn't care it was a great song. Everything was great. The stars were shining on the place in the sky and on the other side of the lake you could see the reflection of the moon, it was almost a full moon. I felt kind of cheesy standing there taking in the moon and the stars and how it felt when the wind throw a breeze along my arm. But I couldn't help it. But most of all I couldn't help to feel that it was so right with me and Ricky there together. That it was just the two of us who were dancing under the shining stars and the moon. I don't have that much experience with guys and I had never felt like this, but god I hope that the feeling wouldn't go away. It was like Ricky had me under some sort of spell.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?" Ricky asked me and pulled me out of my trance.

"Sure" I said, before even reflecting at what it was he was asking me.

"I hoped you would say that" Ricky mumbled and looked down at my face. "Let's go" he said and took my hand.

We walked away from the bonfire and all the people and headed up towards the camp again. I didn't know exactly where Ricky was planning on taking me, but I understood that it was somewhere private where we could be alone.

We headed towards a little cottage at the other side of the camp. Ricky took up a key from his pocket and opened the door for me.

"Ladies first…" He said and motioned me in. It was a same cottage that I was sharing with Caroline, but this was messier. The walls were brown and so was the floor. Everything was made out of wood, the two beds, the two dressers and the two desks and one bookshelf.

"So this is where you have lived all summer?" I asked him with a small smile on my face.

"Yep, together with my roommate Chris" Ricky said and then took a seat on the bed.

"So where is he?" I asked and took a seat next to Ricky on the bed.

"Not around" Ricky just said and therefore he pointed out that we would be alone. Ricky got up from the bed and walked over to the bookshelf and put on some slow music. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster and my legs starting to tremble again. I knew that tonight I would change; tonight I would do something I had not done before. Tonight would be _the_ night.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" I asked as Ricky walked up to me and took my hand and we once again started to dance slowly to the music.

"Is it working?" Ricky asked me and I understood that he meant the part of him seducing me.

"Very well" I said and he reached down and kissed me. If the first kiss and been electric and intense it was nothing compared to this one. The sparks going up my spine was a hundred times more thrilling than before.

He led me over back to the bed. I know I should be nervous and I was, but not as much as I could have been. I mean this was a guy that I had started to talk to properly with for the first time today. But today had also been one of the best days of my life and it didn't seem more than fair to let it end like this and I knew that I was taking the chance to live properly for the first time in my life.

"Are you ok?" Ricky asked as we laid there on the bed making out.

"More than ok" I said.

"Good" Ricky said before he once again crushed my lips and moved over to unzip my pants.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had always imagined my first time being with someone I loved and someone who I had been together with for awhile and not just rush into anything. I always imagined it being a private moment with maybe some candles and a nice romantic dinner. I always imagined it to be special. I had not imagined myself being seduced by one of school's most popular guy who's known for having a different girl every week who he then give up after he has gotten what he wanted. I had not imagined it being at band camp with that guy. I had not imagined it being with someone who I had just spent one day with and I had not imagined it making me feel like a whore.

But one thing for sure was that I had not imagined it being with Ricky Underwood and me falling for his stupid lies. But the one thing I could not have imagined, not in a life time, was the outcome of it all; the consequences and the way it would affect my life forever and how it all became life altering…


	2. Chapter one: There he is

**Hey...**

**So I was able to upload the first chapter (or the second, depending on how you see it)... Hope that you like it.**

**In this chapter Amy is back at school and Ben also plays a little part in this chapter. But I want you to know that I am a huge fan for Ricky and Amy and i think they should be together. **

**Like before: I don't owe anything...**

**Enjoy your reading :)**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Chapter one: There he is…

I took a deep breath and opened the door to the school. If I saw him I would just walk past by him and ignore him. He might not even know that we go to the same school. When I come to think of it we never even mentioned school _that _night.

I had truly dreaded this day for an entire week, the day when I will be back at school and having to face _him._ The day after what had happened between the two of us at camp I didn't see him, not the day after that either. I guess I didn't make a good impression on him. Then it was the day we were going home and I got a glance of him as he stepped on the bus that left before mine did. So I hadn't even had the chance to talk to him. Talk about feeling used. But if I said that I felt used, I would lie. I didn't feel used. I only felt fooled. The fact that I had been so stupid and not getting the fact that Ricky Underwood only cared about one thing and that was getting girls to sleep with him. But I knew I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but it was hard not to. It was hard not to feel like a whore and worst of all was that I didn't know if Ricky had told anyone. Hopefully we could keep this between the two of us and Lauren and Madison wouldn't find out, or worse the whole school. If people knew about me and Ricky I would never be able to show my face at school again. I would feel so embarrassed having people knowing something so private about me.

I hated that I regretted my first time but I had to stay positive and I was seriously thanking of denying the whole thing and pretend like it never had happened.

I walked into the school hallway that was about to crowd up. I saw Lauren and Madison by their lockers. I walked up to them and they seemed really happy to see me and gave me big hugs. I hadn't been able to see them for the whole summer since Madison had been with her parents to Europe before I went away to camp and Lauren had spent the summer with her Grandparents in Vermont.

"How was your summer?" Madison asked me as soon as she let me out of her grip.

"Great!" I said "Yours?" I asked and looked over at the two of them.

"Great as well" Lauren said.

"Mine to" Madison said and looked questioning on me. "You look different" she let out and looked at me.

"I do?" I said nervous. "A summer older I guess" I laughed a little.

"Yeah, she's right" Lauren said and looked at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I said concentrating on not stuttering and giving away that I was lying. _Oh come on Amy, they can't see that you did it, _I said to myself.

Madison shrugged and then said

"I guess we have been away from each other for too long" She looked kind of sad at the thought of us being apart "You know I asked Lauren the same thing. A lot happens over a summer" Lauren then put an arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess it does" I said and looked up only to see Ricky walking past us. I know I told myself not to look but I couldn't help myself. It was like I needed to look because it was just too impossible not to. It was like some invisible force made me look over at him. But the worst thing of all was that Ricky looked at me as well.

I could feel my cheeks turning red and my legs starting to tremble, just the same way I had felt that day. My thoughts went back to it all, to the lake, to the bonfire and to the slow music in his cottage.

After he had turned around the corner in the hallway I looked over at Madison and Lauren and said

"I should get to class" I looked around to see that he hadn't come back "I'll see you guys later. At lunch or whatever…"

I was supposed to be strong, I was supposed to handle this and I could do it. While I walked to class I took deep breaths calming myself down. Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale while telling myself that I could handle this since I was a big girl.

I sat and wait for Lauren and Madison at lunch. I had taken our usual table and it was nice to feel the fresh air of being outside. I looked around to be sure that Ricky wasn't around and it helped me relax a little. I started eating my lunch while waiting for Lauren and Madison to come. It was kind of weird; they were always here before me. Sometimes it wasn't like we were all best friends. It was always the two of them and then me. It made me feel like a third wheel at times.

I could feel that someone was staring at me and I looked over at the table next to mine and there was sitting three people at it. Two of them a girl and a boy I have seen around school together and I guessed they were like a couple or something and then it were another guy. He was the one who was staring at me. I didn't recognize him so I guessed that we didn't have any class together. He was kind of tall and dark but still with a little dorky appearance. But what I stroke me the most about him was that he looked polite, not cocky or self-satisfied like most guys my age can do. When he noticed that I had discovered that he was watching me he smiled at me.

I wondered what he was thinking and if he knew who I was? And then when I looked over again he was gone. _So much for that guy_, I thought to myself. But the next second I heard someone walk up to my table and take a seat.

"Hi" He said and the voice kind of matched his dorky appearance. "I'm Ben" He continued.

"Amy" I said little unsure.

"Can I join you for lunch?" He asked and something told me that he was already expecting a yes for an answerer as he started to eat from his lunch.

"I guess" I said and ate a bite as well.

The lunch with Ben was actually good. I found out in the short amount of time that he was in the same year as me but we didn't have a single class together. He also liked meat a lot since his father owned some sort of sausage firm or something that at least involved sausage. We had some interests in common, we both liked comedies and to read. I told him about me being in the school band and he said that he already knew about that. We also talked about what we had done over the summer and I told him about Band Camp but I was very careful to leave out the part involving Ricky. Ben told me that he had been in Florida for a month together with his dad and that they had rented some type of apartment and ended up renting it in a neighborhood full of old people so he had spent his days with playing cards with them. Something that he found much more satisfying than he first would have imagined.

I saw Lauren and Madison coming out to join me for lunch but they stopped abruptly at the sight of me together with Ben and then smiled at me and walked towards another table. I could see them sitting there chatting and occasionally shooting glances over at my table.

When it was time to get back to class I got up from my chair and so did Ben and we walked into the school hallway again. As we stood by my locker Ben asked me

"Are you doing anything on Friday night?" He sounded a little nervous.

At the same time Ricky walked into the hallway together with a girl that I recognized. Everyone would recognize her she's like the school's slut and her name is Adrian. I could feel how it stung a little in my heart seeing them together. Not that I was jealous or anything, it just made me feel little insignificant. It has only been a week since he slept with me and now that we're back in school he's with _her. _No girl should have to feel like that, feeling disrespected.

I looked at Ben instead knowing that he would like an answerer to his question.

"Are you asking me out?" I asked with a smile and trying not to look over at Ricky and Adrian.

"Something like that" Ben admitted shyly. "Even though I just started to talk to you" he mumbled just hearable.

"Yes" I said to surprise both of us. I didn't know if saying yes was because that I wanted to or because Ricky was near and with Adrian. "Yes, I'd love to go out with you"

"Great" Ben said with a big grin. "I'll pick you up around seven"

"Sure" I said "Can't wait" I lied, at least a little.

After school I met up with Lauren and Madison in the school hallway. It wasn't a lot of people since the school day was over and after school activities wouldn't start until next week.

Lauren and Madison came up to me.

"Oh My God!" Madison let out. "What happened at lunch?" She asked with a smile.

"I-I" I stuttered. "I had lunch with Ben" I said simple. It was after all the truth. "What happened to you two?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh, we got stuck at Mr. Molina's office, the new guidance consular. He asked us questions about school and stuff. Truly boring" Lauren said and Madison nodded as well.

"So?" Madison asked me while looking intense on me.

"So what?" I said and got out my bag from my locker and closed it. It was just the first day and it was already stuffed with all kinds of books.

"You don't think that we will believe that the two of you only had lunch" Madison said and crossed her arms. Lauren did the same and asked me

"Yeah, come on Amy. What did really happen?"

"Fine" I said and leaned against the locker. "He asked me out and I said yes" I smiled at the thought. It was the first time that I actually felt happy at the idea. A guy that seemed honest and nice had asked me out and I actually wanted to go. Yes, I wanted to go. I also started to see a chance for me to get on with my life and not wasting energy at Ricky.

"That's great Amy" Lauren said.

"Yeah, it is" Madison added "But I have to admit that I'm jealous 'cause he seemed cute" she giggled a little.

"He is" I admitted with a tiny smile.

"So when are you going to see him again?" Lauren asked me.

"Friday night" I answered. It actually made me a little nervous, the whole idea of going out on a date. I mean I have never been on a real date before and it was going to be exciting because I think I can actually come to enjoy it, even though that scares me as well. What if I actually find that I liked him?

The Friday night got closer and closer and the closer it got the more nervous it made me. I had told my mum that I was going out on a date and she insisted on buying me some dating clothes so Friday after school she took me shopping to the mall and Ashley came along as well. It would be the perfect mother and daughters' afternoon according to my mum.

She was going to pick me up after school and I sat waiting outside the school on a bench by the parking lot. It was a nice day outside and I couldn't have been more eager to go out with Ben, both my mum and Madison hadn't been able to talk about anything else. Mum knew who Ben's father were and had heard that Ben was a good young boy and that his family also had a great deal of money. _Not that you should go after the amount of money someone has when you should date them, but it's always a big plus if they have it _My mum would say.

Madison would walk around giving me tips of what to say and what to do and what not to say and what not to do. After awhile she was almost getting on my nerves but I let her go on. I couldn't help to wonder what she would think if she knew what had happened between Ricky and me at band camp, she would probably lose her head at the thought of it. That's why I thought it was best to keep it to myself. It was Ricky we talked about and she would never approve of him and then she would go crazy at me for not waiting until I was married or at least in love. It was the same with Lauren, I knew they were my best friends but we still had different views on things in life and I knew they would have a hard time understanding my choice of not waiting until I was married even less that I had done it with Ricky out of all people.

As I sat there on the bench I could feel someone approaching me, I thought it was Ben coming to tell me about his plans for tonight. But as I looked up I saw to my big surprise Ricky leaning over the bench. My body got all warm but not because that I liked him or anything, because I don't. No, my body got all warm because of the anger I felt when I saw him. But I also got a little nervous knowing that my mum could come any minute and I wondered what she would think if she saw me with him and knowing that it wasn't Ben.

"What do you want?" I asked and while looking straight forward as he took the seat next to me on the bench.

"Nothing" he said "Just waiting for my foster dad to come and pick me up" And he had to wait right there with me.

"Sure" I said coldly and ignorant.

"What?" he asked and looked and me.

"Nothing" I said and shocked my head.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked with a shrug.

"Why should I be mad at you?" I asked.

"Don't ask me?" he said and looked at me and then became quiet. I was quiet as well. I had no idea what I wanted to say but I didn't know what. So I went for the truth which I had no idea why I did.

"It's just the things that happened over the summer wasn't exactly how I thought they would be" I then admitted quietly.

"No?"

"No" I said and looked at him. I didn't know why I said that. I didn't owe him an explanations and it seemed kind of obvious that I was a bit upset for how the summer had ended. And if he had any understanding of how a girl felt he would know that.

"I didn't make you do anything" Ricky defended himself. "As I remembered we both wanted to do it"

"And I never said you did" I looked down at my feet. "I just never imagined that I would lose my virginity like that and then being ignored of the guy I did it with" Why was I being this honest? I didn't have to tell him all this. But I think that on some level I knew that if I told him how I felt that I could leave it all behind and maybe focus on Ben.

"I never ignored you" He said "I just figured that what happened at camp would stay at camp"

"I know" I said in a low voice "It wasn't what I thought it would be, that's all"

I saw a blue car pull up and I man sitting in front of the wheel. I didn't recognize him but I understood that it was Ricky's foster dad since he honked and Ricky responded to it by getting up.

"I'm sorry" he said and sounded almost human "I never knew that it was that big of a deal for you and I never knew that you hadn't done it before"

"It's ok" I said "What's done is done and let's just move on and forget about it" Ricky nodded before he got into the car and I gave away the smallest smile possible. Hopefully it would all be over by now and I didn't have to devote a single thought to Ricky again. Maybe I could forget that it happened and do it all over again, but this time I would make sure that I was ready and it was what I wanted to do. Maybe it would even be with Ben.

I saw my mum's car drive into the parking lot and I got up and waved and put on a fake smile.

The date with Ben was amazing. From the minute that he picked me up at the door to the part when he left me and kissed me goodnight on the cheek knowing that his dad was watching us from the car. There was only one little downside, we had to catch a ride with his dad to the restaurant and then home from the movie because neither Ben nor I are old enough to take our driver's license yet. But who cares, his dad was nice and he gave us the best privacy he could.

First we went to dinner at this fancy place just outside the city center. It was newly open and Ben had made us a reservation the same day that he had asked me out. I felt very grown up walking into a place like that and also kind of proud over the fact that my date could afford a place like it. We had our own waiter and the tables had all white tablecloths and the china was very fancy. There was a live band that played music with 60's sound. But the best part was definitely the company. I felt very relaxed around Ben and he was interesting to talk to. He asked me a lot of questions about my life and how it was to play in the school band. And the amazing thing was that he truly seemed to pay attention to me when I was talking and honestly cared.

After the fancy dinner we walked together to the movie theater. We walked under the stars and beside us the traffic was on its way to fade out.

As we walked towards the city of our town Ben stopped abruptly and looked at me.

"I just want you to know that I'm glad that you said yes… I never thought you would"

"No?" I asked.

"No" He said.

"Why not?" I said and took his hand in mine.

"Because you're Amy Jurgens!" he said with small amount of infatuation in his voice.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked a little confused.

"It means that I never thought in a million years that you would ever say yes to go out on a date with me" Ben admitted. It made me smile the way he talked about me, like he had thought about asking me out for awhile but never had the courage to do so.

"I'm glad you asked me out as well" I said and squeezed his hand.

"Good" He said "I hoped you would feel that way"

When we arrived at the movie Ben had picked the perfect movie, it was all about love and had some action in it. The story was about a soldier who was wounded in the World War II and was now back to his old life where he fell in love with a girl who was already engaged to a man who was out in the war.

During the movie Ben put his arm around my shoulder after some hesitation, when he did so I took his other hand in mine and looked up at him and smiled and then I leaned against his shoulder.

Like I said, everything was amazing and perfect. Except for one part, Ben never asked me out again. I know we had a good time and I was waiting for him to ask me out on a second date for the whole ride home and when he kissed me good night, but he never said a thing about maybe seeing me again. I didn't know where to put that because I got the impression that he liked it and that he liked me. But I didn't think about that instead I just thought about the lovely evening I had spent with him and how much I couldn't wait to tell Madison and Lauren about it knowing that it would make them extremely envious.

I laid on my bed having trouble to fall asleep because I was thinking of my night with Ben. I heard something vibrate on the bedside table. I looked over to see my phone spin around and making some noise. I grabbed it and saw BEN written with big letters over the display.

"Hello" I said with a happy voice.

"Hi Amy it is Ben"

"Ben who?" I asked playing a little with him even though I knew he would see through it right away.

"The guy you just went out with" he explained.

"Do you think you could be more specific?"

"The guy who took you to dinner and a movie this night"

"Oh, that Ben" I said with a giggle.

"Now you know" he said.

"Yep, come to think of it. You're the only Ben I Know"

"Ha, ha" He said slowly "I hope I didn't wake you?"

"You did not wake me up" I said firmly "Since I haven't been able to fall asleep because I can't seem to get our date out of my mind"

"I guess that's a good sign"

"A very good sign" I said. "What can I help you with?" I asked and got up out of my bed and walked over to my window and looked out at the stars and the almost empty street. On the other side I saw an older man walk his dog but other than that it was completely empty but it looked peaceful with all the curtains of the houses pulled down and all the families had gone to sleep.

"I was wondering if I might get to see you again?" He asked timidly

"I thought you would never ask" I said.

"How about we just say that I will see you in school on Monday and maybe we could have lunch together?"

"Oh, Monday" I said. "I'm not sure. You see I usually have lunch with my boyfriend on Mondays" It went quiet on the other side of the line. "Kidding!" I said and laughed.

"Oh, so no boyfriend?"

"No, no boyfriend" I said "And Monday sounds great"

"Ok. Monday it is" Ben made a pause and I could hear him sigh "And Amy?"

"Mm?"

"If I haven't already said it, tonight was wonderful. I just wanted you to know that"

"For me too" I said and I truthfully meant it.

"Good night and I'll see you on Monday"

"Good Night, Ben" I closed the phone and just smiled. I was so happy that it felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I couldn't wait until I was going to see Ben again.


	3. Chapter two: Stressed out!

Chapter two: Stresses out!

The following weeks got more and more hectic. I had band practice, school home work and most of all I wanted to spend more time with Ben. And not that I had enough of things going on in my life as it was, I felt that I was coming down with something, but I guessed that it was from all the stress.

I had gone out on two more dates with Ben and they were just as perfect as the first ones and we had also made it a bit of a habit eating lunch together in school. I had also gotten to know his friends Henry and Alice. I had also introduced Ben to Lauren and Madison and the last days of school the six of us had eaten lunch together. It all seemed perfect and the way high school should be like, spending it with your friends and the guy you like.

It was one thing that bothered me though, every time I saw Ricky in the hallway, in the parking lot or at band practice my heart always made a bump in my chest. I tried to ignore it but it was hard. I know that I liked Ben and that I shouldn't even be thinking of Ricky. But there was something about him that had made me fall for him during the summer and making him my first and I don't think that would ever go away. No matter how much I wanted to change it he will always be my first even though it was something that I regretted.

I was still a little bit scared that Ricky might tell someone about the two of us, I knew that we had our little talk a few weeks back but he could still have told someone. Like that Adrian girl or some of his guy friends, we all know how they like to brag about these types of things. I didn't know what Ben would think of me if he knew; maybe he would break up with me. I also didn't know what the two of us were but I guess you could say that we were a couple and that Ben was my boyfriend, my first boyfriend. I mean at times he would hold my hand while we walked down the school hallway together and on our third date he had even kissed me on my mouth. It wasn't the same as kissing Ricky, that was more intense and almost nerve wracking and this was more light and safe. Ben was definitely safe and secure which I liked. He has never done anything that would make me think that he could ever hurt me, just the opposite. Sometimes I was afraid that Ben might like me more than I liked him, but I hoped that my feelings for him would soon catch up and be just as strongly as his were for me.

*

"Amy, do you think you can come in here for a minute?" My mum yelled from the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen and saw my sister sitting on a chair by the kitchen table together with my dad and my mum leaning against the kitchen counter. This worried me, we never had family talks or whatever we were about to have.

"What's going on?" I asked and stopped in the doorway.

"Honey, take a seat" My dad said and walked up from his chair and pulled out one for me.

"Is everything ok?" I asked as I took a seat and looked over at Ashley, who looked as clueless as I did. It was quiet in the kitchen and my dad walked over to take his seat again. I tried to think of every reason for why they would want to talk to us. It was like a lightning strike had gone through my body as I thought that they might know about Ricky and I and therefore wanted to talk to me and Ashley about being safe and that they hope that we will wait until we married until anyone of us do anything or I would do anything again, especially now that I was with Ben, although it had only been a couple of weeks since our first date.

"Yeah what's going on?" Ashley also asked. She looked over at our dad and then at our mum without getting a response.

Mum cleared her throat and then said

"Your father and I have been talking" She said without looking up "And we have come to the conclusion that we should spend some time apart" Pang Boom and the lightening stroke once again but this time I would probably need emergency care to get back to reality. _Spend some time apart,_ I knew exactly what that meant; my parents were getting a divorce.

In my mind pictures of me and Ashley alone with our dad at Christmas flashed by and alone with my mum at thanksgiving or of the two of us having two addresses and living in two different homes. The two of us being kids to a couple that was divorced and how people would feel sorry for us because our mum and dad weren't living together. That our family would end up as another statistic family.

"What do you mean with spending some time apart?" Ashley asked trying to hide that she was close to tears.

"Your mother and I think that the best thing for this family right now, especially for the two of us is to just spend some time apart" My dad said seriously.

"Your father and I have some things to figure out and this is the only way we can do that" My mum explained coldly.

"By getting a divorce?" I asked before thinking. Both my parents looked at me but didn't answerer my question.

"I'll move out for some time and then we'll see what happens" Dad said explaining the situation.

"So we won't get to see you. You will just leave us?" Ashley asked sadly. "Dad you can't do that" It must have been heartbreaking for my dad to hear Ashley saying something like that and so close to tears but trying her best not to show that she was about to cry.

I wasn't as strong. I could feel silent tears fall down my cheeks and making them wet. All I kept thinking was at how I could be so blind and that I couldn't see this coming.

"Oh honey, don't cry" My mother said and came to give me a hug. It was nice to feel her warm embrace around me.

"Ashley, of course you will get to see me" Dad said trying to comfort the both of us. "_I_ could not go on without seeing the two of you. I promise you that"

"Yes" My mum said letting go of me but still having her hands on my shoulder. "This is between your father and me and it has nothing to do with you. We want you to know that." It felt like a cliché when she said that.

"Whatever" Ashley said and I could see a single tear fall down on one of her cheeks. "I have homework to do, so…" She got up from the chair and walked out of the kitchen but stopped and turned around.

"So when will you be leaving?" she asked my dad.

"Tonight" he answered quiet. "I will stay at the motel by the highway until I found something else"

"Bye then" she said and walked out of the kitchen. I felt that I should go and be with my sister and I didn't want to be alone with my parents. I got up from a chair and gave my dad a quick hug and mumbled

"Bye dad" and then walked out of the kitchen as well.

*

That night it was hard for me to fall asleep and I don't think I got more than an hour of sleep. I just laid there in my bed hiding under the covers and thought about my family or what was left of it. I could hear the door close after my father and how his car drove away from the house. I couldn't stop the tears from falling and so I let them fall. I think I cried for over an hour. I knew that I wasn't the only one crying that night. I heard Ashley from her room and her sobs and when my mum was up and walked to the bathroom I could also hear her crying.

It was hard not knowing what would happen to my family and to my life. I knew that the next day would be a hard day in school and at home. I dreaded walking up to breakfast, I seriously thought about just going early to school and pretend like nothing had happen. Just thinking that I would go home to mum and that dad would be home for dinner as he usually was.

When my alarm clock finally ringed I felt tired. I just felt like staying home in my bed and I felt sick to my stomach. The next minute I was on my way to the bathroom and I threw up. It felt like everything that I was feeling was coming up and I could feel tears once again fall down my cheeks. I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall feeling exhausted. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

I knew I couldn't stay home from school, partly because I had band practice that I couldn't miss and we had an important test in English as well. I had studied like a maniac to that test and I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. But the worst thing was that if I stayed home I would have to face mum the whole day. So that was it, I had no choice but to go to school and do the best I could and hoping that the nausea that I was now feeling would disappear.

*

Lucky for me the nausea passed after the morning and I could continue the school day in the best pace possible. I didn't tell Lauren and Madison about my parents splitting up. Frankly because I was embarrassed, I know my family wasn't perfect but not even I knew that my parents were having trouble. I really thought that they were a happy married couple and never in a million years did I think that this would happen. I didn't tell Ben either, I didn't feel that we were that close yet so I could share something like this with him, even though I knew that he wouldn't mind. He was the type of guy you could tell something like this and he would not judge, he would just listen. I was lucky to have him in my life, although he hasn't been in it for that long.

It felt like I did well on my English test, at least I did the best I could during the circumstances. I also went to band practice after school. I was beginning to get used to the fact that Ricky always was there too. There was nothing I could do about him but I still worried that he might tell someone and Ben would find out. Sometimes I even thought about telling Ben about him so I could stop worrying that he might find out, but of course I never did.

Band practice had just ended and I was in the deserted school hallway taking my books so I could go home. It was a relief that I had made it through the day and I could feel that the lack of sleep was about to tear me down.

I could hear steps coming down the hallway but I didn't look up to see who it was. I took out the books from the locker that I might need. I had my mind on other things so I dropped a book. As it hit the floor it echoed in the whole hallway. _Damn! _I thought to myself. This wasn't my day after all. I took a big sigh before I was on my way down to grab it, but someone was quicker than me. I looked up to see Ricky standing beside me holding my book. Just when I thought that my day couldn't get any worse there he was standing right in front of me giving me my book.

"Thanks" I said and took the book and then put it back in the locker. I hoped that his business with me was done and that he would leave but apparently he would not.

"That was a good practice that we had today" he said. Was he trying to start a conversation with me, or what?

"I guess" I said and continued looking at my books in my locker although I had grabbed the ones I needed.

"Yeah, I mean I thought you were good playing that thorn thing" he said.

"You weren't too horrible yourself" I said feeling that I couldn't just act like I didn't want to talk to him, even thought that was the truth.

"Yeah, well I have like played the drums since I was three" He said refusing to give up the conversation.

"Good for you" I said and closed the locker and faced him. "Did you like want something?" I asked.

"N-No, I just saw you drop your book and I thought I would grab it for you"

"That's nice of you" I said feeling a little more relaxed.

"So…?" Ricky said.

"So…?" I repeated his words.

"Do you maybe need a ride home?" He asked. I was taken aback by his question. Was he asking me if I wanted a ride home? The truth was I probably needed it. I hadn't asked my mum to pick me up and I was pretty sure I had missed the last bus. But I didn't want to ride with Ricky home; I didn't want to do that to me and to Ben. Wouldn't it count as cheating on some level? But I guess Ben never has to find out?

"I don't think that's a good idea" I said hesitating.

"Why not?" Ricky asked "I mean you have to get home and I'm a way for you to get there and that's it"

"Why would you do that?" I asked wondering what his intensions were.

"I don't know. Do I have to have a reason?" He asked with a bit of innocent in his voice.

"I guess not" I said.

"So are you coming?" He asked. I didn't feel like I had a choice. _What the hell! _I thought and smiled.

"Sure" I said.

His car smelled just like his cottage smelled like. I hadn't thought about it back then but now it was so obvious. It brought back the memories to that night and part of it actually made me smile. It was hard not to smile at the memory of me and Ricky together swimming in the lake or when we danced by the bonfire. I had actually enjoyed it all then. It was just the things that happened later that night that made me a bit unease. Things hadn't gone as I expected it and let's just say that it wasn't as good or romantic as I thought your first time should be. Instead it was something I wanted to forget, something that I wouldn't want anyone to know about.

"So this is your house?" Ricky asked as he pulled over to a stop in front of it.

"Mhmm" I said and nodded.

"It's nice" He said "Seems warm and loving"

"What?" I asked confused. What did he mean by that?

"I meant that it seems like you have dinner on the table when you come home and that you will eat it together with you family" He seemed bewildered wondering if he had offended me.

"Yeah, well I guess you can be blinded sometimes" I mumbled.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said feeling the tears burning behind my eyes.

"Are you ok, Amy?" he asked looking down at me.

"I'm fine" I said and put my hand on the handle to the car door. "Thanks for the ride" I said and got out.

"No problem" he said and before I closed the door he leaned forward and said "Amy, I'm sorry for how things turned out for the two of us. I had hoped it would be different with you" I didn't know what he meant by it but I ignored it and closed the door. He drove away and soon the car was gone behind the curve.

*

That evening was one of the worst I could imagine. Dinner was so quiet that I wanted to scream out just to hear something. It seemed like my mum had spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen since there was so much food on the table. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been in the kitchen the whole afternoon cooking away her feelings. It was the way my mum dealt with her feelings. It was hard for me being around her now. It felt like Ashley and I had to take sides deciding who we wanted to stand by. I couldn't do that, it was my parents and I loved them equally. No one should have to choose between their parents. I knew that they didn't want Ashley and me to be sad about it and feel like it was our fault but how could we not? Maybe if I had done something different this wouldn't be happening. Maybe there was something that I could have done to prevent it from happen. I just whished that my parents wanted to fight a little more, that they saw that they had something worth saving.

The following night I couldn't sleep either. Instead I spend that night laying awake thinking about life. Thinking about how screwed up everything had gotten over just a couple of days. And after almost a whole other night of laying awake and contemplating life I fall into a troubled and anxious sleep.


	4. Chapter three: There's always something

Chapter three: There always another beginning

I was still feeling a little sick but it was a weird illness. I mostly felt nauseas on the mornings and just a little on the days. Even though I felt nauseas and so I still ate, more than I used to it was like I was hungry all the time. But I hoped that it would pass sooner or later, I mean it must come from all the stress I was feeling with my parents and school it wasn't weird that I was feeling like this.

I thought about this while brushing my teeth and my stomach made some weird noise and I could feel my breakfast was on its way up. I leaned against the toilet waiting for it to come up. The next second it was out of the system and I felt a little better. I could hear Ashley walk into the bathroom, there was no escape she would find me leaning over the toilet and she would know right away that I wasn't feeling all that well. I tried to keep it from mum that I was a little sick; I didn't think that it was necessary to bother her with it since it would pass when the school day began.

"Are you ok?" Ashley asked when she saw me. "Should I get mum?"

"No, it's nothing" I said "I'm just coming down with something"

"Ok, I was just going to give you these" Ashley said and gave me a pack of tampons. "Mum said that you probably wouldn't have that many left"

"I think I have a big bunch of them actually" I said and opened the cabinet to the bathroom cabinet. "See" I said while showing her.

"Yeeze, when was the last time you had your period?" she asked surprised at how stocked the cabinet were.

"Oh, it's just that I haven't been feeling that well and it's been effecting my period I guess" I said explaining.

"Not feeling well?" she asked.

"I've been kind of stressed out lately with mum and dad, school and band practice and trying to fit Ben into it all"

"So you haven't had your period and you have been throwing up?" She asked doubting what I was saying for some reason.

"Yes, I guess I'm kind of sensitive" I said defending myself.

"If I didn't know better I would say that you're pregnant" Ashley stated. My stomach dropped.

"Pregnant?" I said with a small and worried laugh. Ashley nodded.

"But who am I kidding?" she looked at me "If you're pregnant it would mean that you had to have done it and I don't think that you and Ben have gone that far yet" she said. It seemed simply in her ears. But what she said scared me, could I be pregnant? It seemed so silly and stupid but still there was a chance that I was. I mean all the signs were there; morning sickness and not having my period and I was eating a lot too. But I couldn't be pregnant it was impossible.

"Amy?" Ashley asked looking at me "Oh My God, don't tell me you have done it with Ben?" I shocked my head. "Then what's wrong?" she looked at me with worried eyes.

I looked down at the floor taking a deep breath but before I made it to say anything Ashley had closed the bathroom door and then looked straight into my eyes and asked in a serious tone.

"Did you do something with someone that wasn't Ben?"she asked and I went silent. "Oh My God you did" she said after reading the impression on my face.

"I didn't mean for it to happen" I said as a silent tear ran down my face. "But it did" the thought of me being pregnant scared the shit out of me. What if it was true, what if I was having a baby and Ricky was the father to it?

"It doesn't mean anything" Ashley pointed out trying to reassure me "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're just stressed out and that's why you feeling the way you do"

"Maybe" I said. _God, don't tell me I got pregnant? _I couldn't hold back the tears anymore so I just let them fall.

"So who was he?" Ashley asked while wrapping her arms around me.

"Who?" I asked under the sobs.

"They guy you lost your virginity to?"

"Oh, that guy" I said. "Just someone I met at band camp" I didn't want her to know that it was Ricky; I didn't want her to look at me like I was some sort of whore.

"Wow, I almost wanna go to Band Camp if that's what you're doing there" Ashley said a bit joking but I knew that it was some truth in what she said.

"No" I said quick and firmly "You should not think like that. I mean look at me; I might be pregnant and my life might be over."

"I didn't say that I would do something like getting pregnant, I know how to be safe" She said.

"Something I had no clue about" I admitted embarrassed. It was true not once that night did I thought about being safe. I just figured that Ricky knew what he was doing and that he would think about it.

"Should I get mum?" Ashley asked me in a concern voice.

"NO" I said "Ashley, she can't know about this" I said scared. "Promise me that you won't tell her"

"Fine" she said "But you need to know if you're pregnant for sure"

"I'll take a pregnancy test or something" I sighed "But whatever you do you can't tell mum. She will kick me out of the house or ground me forever" Besides maybe I wasn't pregnant and that this was just some scare that I one day in the future would have a good laugh about. There was no reason telling mum _or_ dad about this.

"Are you going to tell the father?" Ashley asked.

"There's no reason telling him anything until I know for sure if I'm pregnant or not. Besides if I am who knows if I want to keep it" I could not tell Ricky that he might soon be a father, it would freak him out and I know that he's not ready for the responsibility that comes with having a baby. And I knew that I could not have a conversation like that with him.

*

That day in school was horrible, I felt distant all the time and I couldn't think about anything else than the fact that in about seven months I might pop out a baby and be added to the category teenage mother. It was about two months since I slept with Ricky which meant that if I'm pregnant I would have seven months until the baby will be born. The thought made me nervous. I knew that I needed to know for a fact if I was pregnant or not. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of a pregnancy before Ashley mentioned it to me this morning. The more I thought about the more sense it made. I guess that sometimes you just know.

I saw Ben standing in the parking lot. I knew what I had to do. I couldn't be with Ben if I was going to have Ricky's child. I walked up to him. He gave me a light kiss on my mouth before he asked. This might be drastic but it needed to be done.

"Hey, do you want a ride home, my dad is about to come and pick me up?" he was so nice and yes I wanted a ride home and I wanted to be with him I just couldn't.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked ignoring his question.

"Sure, what's up? Everything ok?" he asked worried. No, nothing was ok and nothing would ever be ok again.

"It's just that I have been thinking" I said and looked down at my feet. "I think that we should, um, s-stay friends" I tried not to stutter and I tried not to cry and I think I was doing ok.

"What?" Ben asked confused and upset.

"It's just that I need to figure things out and I need to do that on my own" It was the truth and so much of it that I could tell him.

"What things?" he seemed bewildered.

"Things that just came up" I said "I just want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. It's all me and you have been great these weeks"

"So, can't you figure things out with me around?" he asked seeming heartbroken.

"I can't have a boyfriend in my life right now, it would be too hard. For me and for you" I mumbled slowly. "This is the best"

"You gonna regret it" Ben said and looked at me.

"I know" I said honest "Believe me I already regret it, but I know that I have to do it"

"Why?"

"I hope that I can tell you one day. But for now let's just say that something happened that I didn't plan and I have to deal with it."

"I don't understand what you're talking about?" Ben admitted.

"I know" I said excusing "All I can say is that something sort of came up and I have to deal with it, _alone_"

Ben looked at me not knowing what to say. I know that I wasn't a hundred percent sure that I was pregnant and I still hoped that I wasn't, but I needed to do this while I still could.

"Bye Ben!" I said and walked away from my first boyfriend and a guy that I might have been able to love. A tear fall down my cheek and then another…

*

I walked back to the hallway and the girls' bathroom to clean up before I went home. When I walked into the hallway I almost stopped. There was only one person there, Ricky. I didn't know what to say to him or how I was suppose to act. He didn't know that I might be pregnant and that he was the father.

"Amy" he said as he saw me coming in sad and alone. "Are you ok?" he asked after seeing my tears.

"No" I said "I just broke up with Ben" I continued walking slowly down the hallway.

"What did he do?" He asked.

"Nothing. I just think it's best that we stay friends" I said and tried to stop the tears from running. "It's not a good time for me to have boyfriend in my life right now."

"I'm sorry. I guess" he said "Is there anything I can do?" he looked so sweet and seemed honest.

"No" I said and shook my head. "I'm just gonna go home and spend the evening in front of the TV and forget about my problems" I said and laughed a little laugh that was my first that day. "I think this day might be one of the worst ever in my life" I admitted.

"Let me drive you home" Ricky offered. He had done it twice after the first time and I was starting to found him ok but I didn't know if I could manage a drive with him home today.

"Come on" he said and put his arm around my shoulders and not giving me a choice. I liked the feeling of his warm arm around me, I knew it was wrong to think that since I just broke up with Ben but it was hard not to.

On the way home Ricky talked about the upcoming concert that our school would arrange that we both were suppose to be in. He seemed excited and he told me that his foster parents might try to come as well. He now knew were my house was and I didn't have to show him the way I just sat there staring out the window thinking about Ben and about me being pregnant.

"Well, here we are" Ricky said incase I hadn't noticed it.

"I guess we are" I said and I forced myself to smile.

"Amy I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk or anything?" Ricky said shyly.

"Thanks" I said. I didn't know if it was just talk or if he truly meant it but something told me that he did.

"I like to think that we're friends" Ricky said "And after all that happened between us this summer I'm glad that we are still friends"

"Well, we weren't exactly friends before" I said and smiled.

"I know but I hope that we can forget about what happened and just start over, fresh" Ricky admitted.

"You don't know how much I want that as well" I said and knew that Ricky didn't know to what I was referring to.

Ricky reached over for my hand and grabbed it and then squeezed it and I squeezed his back.

"I should go" I said and let go of his grip. "I'll see you around" I said and then walked out of the car and I could hear Ricky saying good bye. I didn't know if what just had happen was a good or a bad thing. There was so much going on right now and I didn't know what to think or feel about lot stuff in my life right now. I knew that I had a lot of things to figure out before I could take the next step in my life because right now I didn't know what the next step was.

*

"Amy, could you get in here for a sec?" Ashley called quiet from her room as I walked passed it. We had just suffered through another dinner with mum and things hadn't gotten any easier on that area yet. It felt like my whole family was falling apart and there was no one there to keep it together.

"What is it?" I asked and stepped inside her room.

"Close the door" I did as she ordered me to do and I kept wondering what was going on.

"What are you up to?" I asked. She gave me a brown little bag and I opened it. Inside of it was a pregnancy test.

"I bought that for you" she said "So we know for sure"

I didn't know how to react. Should I be angry at her or should I be grateful for the fact that she had done something I would never dare to do. I looked at her with panicked eyes. The truth was I was scared to know for sure. To have it all confirmed because I already knew what the test would show.

"Are you Ok?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know" I said and looked over at her instead of the pregnancy test. "I guess I'm a little nervous"

"It's ok to be nervous" Ashley put her arm around me. "But we both know that you have to take it" I knew she was right but it didn't help me right now.

"I know I have to do it" I said feeling a tear fall down my cheek.

"I'll be right there with you "She offered

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise" she said "But let's do it before mum get's suspicious"

I nodded and gave her a hug. I could do this and I had to do it.

*

It is weird how something define as positive can be so negative for someone. How something that for some people can be described as the happiest moment in their life while for someone that moment can be described as life ending. How something that should fill you up with happiness instead makes you feel empty and cold. It's weird how something like this happens t me.

I looked down at the positive pregnancy test while holding it steady in my hands. I could feel tears running down my cheeks making them wet. Ashley was holding her arms around me and hushing comforting

"It's gonna be ok" and "You can do this" But I wasn't sure I could do this? I didn't even know what this was?

"I don't" I said and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. "What am I going to do?" I asked her hoping that she had more answers than I had.

"I can't tell you what to do" Ashley said "But I can tell you that you have some options"

"You mean like abortion or giving the baby up?" I said and dried my tears with the back of my hand.

"Look this is all up to you" Ashley said "But I think you should tell mum" There was one thing I was sure about and that was the fact that I could not tell my mum about this or my dad. They would kick me out of the house or make me do something against my will. No, I had to have a plan before I told them.

"No" I said determinedly "I won't tell them and neither are you" I looked over at Ashley.

"She's gonna know when see she's that you have growing belly" Ashley said with a bit of humor in it.

"Then I'm just going to have to hide my belly from her" I said it like it was the simplest thing possible.

"Are you gone hide it when you're in school too, because I'm sure people will start to wonder there too. I mean it is high school and people talk" I hadn't thought about school at all. I hadn't thought about that kind of stuff, I had only thought about the fact that I'm pregnant and that I couldn't see Ben anymore.

"You have to tell the father at least?" Ashley pointed out.

"I can't tell him" I said thinking about the way Ricky would react if he knew "he isn't exactly the type of guy that would…. I don't" I said still trying to cope with everything.

"Do you have any contact with him?" Ashley asked me since she didn't know it was Ricky and that I still talked to him.

"Some" I said not wanting to say anything else about it. I couldn't think about Ricky right now and I knew that someday he would know about this.

"We should get out of here before mum catches us and starts to ask question" Ashley said and looked at me "Don't worry everything's gonna be alright, you'll see"

"Thanks" I said "You go and I'll be out in a minute" Ashley nodded slightly and walked out of the bathroom.

I took a deep sigh and let a couple of more tears fall and then I got up and acted like everything was normal so my mum wouldn't suspect anything. No one knew except for me and Ashley and I hoped that it would stay that way until I was ready for anyone else to know.


	5. Chapter four: Let's Party!

**Authors note: **

**Hey. This is the fourth chapter in the story and I haven't started writing the fifth yet but I will start as soon as I can. Bur right now there's a big pile of homework's waiting for me. But I will do them as quick as I can. **

**And please review after reading this chapter and tell what you thought about it. I would also like to thank those who have reviewed it so far. I appreciate it a lot.**

**// Miss-Jojjo. **

Chapter four: Let's party!

I had known about my pregnancy for three weeks and I was finally starting to ease up to the idea of having a baby and become a mother. I thought a lot about what I was going to do but I had not come to a conclusion yet and I know that soon it would be too late for an abortion. I could also feel my body start to change; my sweaters sat more tightly and I had a hard time pulling up the fly on my jeans. It was beginning to get more and more obvious that I was pregnant and I knew that I had to do something about it soon. Ashley was nagging on me to at least go and see a doctor and she had offered to come with me but I was too afraid that my parents would found out about it.

So the only thing I could do was to continue with my life the best pace I could and I was managing that pretty well. I had let Ricky take me home after band practice a couple of more times and I find that we actually had some things in common. It was still hard being around him with the fact that I was caring his baby, but I find it even harder to stay away, so what was I suppose to do?

*

I was in the car with Ricky outside my house after another band practice. He had just told me about a fight that had went down in school today between two of the guys that were on the school's football team and apparently the two of them had fought like girls and I laughed has he told me this and gestured with his hand so I would really understand what it looked like.

"Well, I have to get in or my mum will start wondering where I am" I said not wanting to step out of the car.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to get her worried" he said understanding.

I was about to open the door and I felt Ricky's hand on mine. I turned around and looked at him.

"I'm glad I got to drive you home today as well" he said slowly.

"Well, a girl has to get home" I said. "And this was this was the best option"

"Can I ask you something?" Ricky asked and seemed nervous.

"Sure" I said "You can ask me anything" Ricky took a big sigh.

"I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me to Jack's party on Saturday night?" he asked and I got surprised at his question.

"I-I don't know" I said quickly thinking it over in my head.

"I know that we're friends now" Ricky said seriously "But I think that we can be more and I want to give that a shot" I knew that being with him right now wasn't the right thing to do, especially not since I broke up with Ben for the reason of not having a boyfriend. And I knew I could easily get my heart broken and did I want that?

"I know what you're thinking" Ricky said. "And I know that what happened this summer is still there but I hate it if it were in the way for the two of us being something more" He seemed honest and he was right about what happen this summer was still there between us more than he could ever imagine.

"Before you say no" Ricky said and then leaned forward to kiss me. I was scared and nervous this time but as soon as his lips touched mine I could feel myself relax and I had to give into to his kiss. He let go of my hand and moved his to the back of my head starting to play with my hair. Then, what for me was way too soon, he broke the kiss.

"I know you want to" He said and he was right. I so wanted to go with him to that party but I still didn't know if it was the best thing to do. But I guess I couldn't know what would happen and sometimes you just got to risk some things.

"Ok, I'll go with you" I said and saw Ricky's face light up.

"I hoped you would say that" He said and leaned in to give me a quick kiss and it made my heart beat faster.

"Good night" I said and got out of the car and then waved a little wave as he drove off. Even though I wasn't sure if it was the right thing I couldn't help but to feel happy. It had been a long time since I had felt that happy over a guy and everything had just been so depressing with Ben. So that evening I walked around with a smile on my face and both my mum and my sister saw that I was happier than usually and they both asked me why. But I didn't tell them why and I could see Ashley wondering a little extra why my sudden mood change had come but I knew I couldn't tell her, but that was ok.

*

I didn't tell Madison or Lauren that I was asked out by Ricky Underwood, I didn't think they would come to the party at Jack's so why should I? I knew that they would only go on and on about his intensions and I already knew what they were, right? I was a living proof of what teenage boys are after but I felt like Ricky had changed since the summer. I don't know, maybe I was too stupid to realize that I was being played by him again, or maybe I wanted to be played.

That night I told my mum and Ashley that I was going over to a sleepover at Madison's something we haven't done in ages but my mum didn't need to know that. I know that if I would have told mum that I would have gone to a party over at someone unknown guy's house she would have locked me in my room and never let me out and I wouldn't want to risk that.

I didn't know what I was going to wear but I had chosen my favorite jeans and I had bought I knew sweater, the jeans was almost the only thing that still fitted me like they used to. I couldn't wear too much makeup on or my mum would have gotten suspicious. When I looked at myself in the mirror I was happy with the result. I looked over at a teenage girl who was going to her first party and with a guy that might be something more than a friend. I could feel my whole body heat up at the thought of Ricky, it was weird how soon I had gotten over Ben just by being around Ricky. You lose one guy and you replace it with another.

I studied myself again in the mirror and thought that this is truly how it's supposed to be. You couldn't see that I was pregnant yet and if anyone would look at me they would just think that I had only put on a pound or two which is normal in my age. If you didn't know it was there you would never suspect it.

I looked down on the street and saw Ricky waiting a couple of houses down in his car. I smiled as I saw him sitting there looking up towards my house from his car window trying to catch a glimpse of me. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and then left my bedroom. I had packed a little bag so my mum would believe I was actually going to a sleepover and I carried it downstairs and then got my jacket incase it would be cold outside.

"Bye mum" I yelled and heard her coming into the hall. "I have to go" I said "Lauren's brother is waiting for me. He's going to drop me off at Madison's together with Lauren" I lied without stuttering which made me really pleased.

"Ok, Honey" mum said "Have a good time and I'll see you tomorrow"

"I will" I said knowing that I will have a better and more eventful night than my mother could ever imagine.

*

I walked up to Ricky's car feeling nervous. It was weird how much this situation reminded me about the about the day at the camp. I was beginning to doubt if I should really do this but I knew that it was too late to back out. I saw Ricky sitting behind the wheel and he smiled when he saw me coming closer.

I jumped into the car and I didn't know what to expect as I did so, I didn't know what to expect at all. I smiled at Ricky and he smiled back at me. He looked attractive when he sat there in front of the wheel and grinning towards me.  
"Hey there" he said and kissed my cheek.

"Hi" said and smiled. I couldn't help to feel that this wasn't right, like it was me that was fooling him on some level now. I knew that I couldn't tell him about the baby, how could I? He was sixteen and I was fifteen and that was enough for me to know that we weren't ready for the huge responsibility that would come with having a baby. I was still hoping that something would happen that would make it all easier or that I will wake up and this will all be a dream. But I knew I was waiting in vain.

"You ready?" Ricky asked me as he started the car. I knew that he meant if I was ready to go to the party but it felt like he was referring to everything.

"Yeah let's go" I said and once again I started to pretend that nothing was wrong and that I was only a normal teenager who wasn't pregnant. I mean what I was doing right now was kind of normal; going to a party with a guy and hoping that we are going to have the best time ever!

Ricky drove off but I wasn't sure where. I knew that the party where at this guy Jack's house but I didn't know where he lived. He was on the football team and he was also the ministers step son. Who knew they could party? I hadn't been to any party before but I knew what went down at them. I knew that a party was a place where I wouldn't run into Madison and Lauren or Ben since it wasn't their scene, which felt kind of safe. But there were still other kids from school that would see me with Ricky but I figured that we wouldn't be spending that much time with each other once we got to the party.

Ricky slowed down the car outside Jack's house that was near the church. On the lawn in front of the house were a group of people chatting around loudly. You could hear music from inside and through the windows you could see the silhouettes of people dancing.

Ricky took my hand as I had gotten out of the car and leaned against the hood. We just stood there staring at each other and then he smiled and so did I.

"I would like to kiss you again" Ricky stated and it made me nervous. I knew that he didn't want me to come as a friend but to have him kissing me here out on the street where everyone could see it, I wasn't all too happy about it. I mean what if Ben found out then he would think that I only broke up with him so I could be with Ricky, which wasn't true at all.

"You would like to kiss me again?" I then asked with an anxious smile.

"Yes" he said. "But I won't" he sounded a little cocky.

"No?" I asked wondering what the hell he was meaning to do.

"No, because I think that were not ready to do it again" he said explaining. I felt myself relax a little as he said that.

"Me too" I then said.

"I want us to take this slow, Amy" Ricky said seriously. "And kissing you right now were everybody can see us isn't exactly taking things slow and I think that if I did kiss you it would only cause more destruction then happiness"

"Maybe" I said quietly.

"But I can offer you my hand, though" Ricky said and showed me his hand. I hesitated a bit before taking it.

We walked up towards the house and past the group of people on the lawn. I felt someone staring at Ricky and me and as I looked over at the crowd I could see Adrian, the girl who had walked down the hallway together with Ricky staring at the two of us darkly. Ricky didn't seem to notice it or he just ignored it, it was too hard to tell. I tried to push Adrian out of my mind as we walked into the house and I succeeded pretty good.

The house was crowded and the music was high, if you wanted to talk you would have to scream. I saw Ricky's lips moving but it was hard to make out what he was saying.

"What?" I screamed and put my hands in the air showing that I didn't understand him. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the kitchen were you could actually hear each other.

"I was wondering if I could get you something to drink?" Ricky asked with a smile.

"Yeah, sure" I said without thinking.

"Wait here" Ricky said and then headed to get me a drink.

He then got back with two red cups and handed me one of them. I took a zip and as soon as I did I realized that it was alcohol and my heart stopped for a second. I couldn't drink, not when I was pregnant.

"What's wrong?" Ricky asked and put his drink down and then realized. "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know that you don't drink" I could see that he felt stupid for giving me a drink containing alcohol.

"It's not that I don't" I said "It's more that I shouldn't"

"Here take mine" He said "I haven't taking a zip yet and it's no alcohol since I'm driving" He gave me his drink.

"No, I'm fine" I said. "I'm not even thirsty"

"No go ahead, I insist" Ricky put the drink in my hand.

"Well, since you insist" I said and took a zip of the coke in his glass.

"I'm just gonna go and get another one" he said and left me once again alone.

I felt someone approaching me and I thought it was Ricky coming back but as I looked up I saw to my surprise Adrian.

"Hey" She said deceiving and slurring. It was way too obvious that she was drunk.

"Hey" I said not knowing if I should.

"So you're here with Ricky?" she asked me and the slurring was more apparent now.

"I guess" I said and looked at her "Why?"

"Nothing" she said with an undertone of wanting to say more. I looked her straight into the eyes strongly.

"What do you want?" I asked looking around hoping that Ricky would show up soon.

"I was just wondering how things were going with the two of you?" She said and we both saw that Ricky was coming towards us and he didn't seem glad that Adrian was talking to me.

"We're just fine" I said as Ricky came to stand next to me.

"Exactly Adrian, were just fine" Ricky said. "What do you want, anyway?"

"I was just wondering why you didn't say anything last night about you coming here with" Adrian looked at me "I'm sorry but what was your name dear?" She asked me and I could feel that I was beginning to heat up.

"Her name is Amy" Ricky said defending me "And she's none of your business"

"So you didn't tell me about her last night" Adrian said to herself. Then she looked at both me and Ricky "But did you tell her about me or do you leave me out as well?" Ricky stared at her blankly but didn't say anything. Adrian looked at him while she was trying to keep her balance and then had to use the wall as a support or else she would fall.

"Ricky?" I said questioning feeling tears form under my eyes as I felt myself getting played once again by Ricky the womanizer. Ricky just looked at me but didn't say anything. I didn't know what to do except that I needed to get out of there. I walked past Adrian and down a small corridor that was crowded. I walked rapidly and I could hear someone shout at me from behind and it wasn't Ricky it was worse.

I walked into one of the small guestrooms and placed myself on the floor by the bed. I could hear two people stepping in and I saw Lauren and Madison emerge in front of me and then Lauren went to close the door.

"Amy, what are you doing here?" Madison asked me. It was funny because I was wondering the same thing what the hell was Lauren and Madison doing at a party like this, without me.

"I...I" I didn't know what to say while tears were falling down my cheeks. I placed my arms around my knees as I sat on the floor trying to make myself as small as I could get hoping that it would make me feel a little better. But it didn't, but still I didn't remove them.

"Amy what's going?" Lauren asked me and took a seat next to me on the floor and placed one arm around my shoulder comforting me without any result.

"Amy?" Madison asked and placed herself on the other side of me and leaned her head against my shoulder. I had absolutely no idea about what it was I was going to say or what it was that I wanted to say. I just felt confused and lonely.

"Come on and tell us what's wrong, Ames?" Lauren tried slowly.

"Everything" I said and tried to calm myself down.

"And what is everything?" Madison asked me at the same time as she was looking at me.

"My life" I answered not giving anything away.

"What's wrong with your life?" Madison continued.

"Yeah, Amy" Lauren said "We thought you were happy?" It was strange how that word _happy _could define something as a life but the truth was that I didn't know if I was happy. I knew that I wasn't unhappy but I wasn't sure I was happy either. I guess I was somewhere in between unhappy and happy.

"I'm not sure anymore" I admitted silently.

"Just tell us what happened" Madison said caringly.

"My parents are getting a divorce" I began slowly.

"And that's why you're upset?" Madison asked. I know that she didn't buy it and she was right not to, I didn't even have my parents' divorce on my mind, I just thought about me, Ricky and of course the baby. It was inevitable not to think about the baby it was a part of me nowadays.

"I'm sorry" Lauren said "But I'm sure they are going to work things out and everything will be ok" She said trying to soothe me.

"Maybe" I said and gave them a small smile.

"See" Madison tried "It's not the end of the world" We all went quiet and Madison and Lauren looked at each other and then Lauren asked

"So why are you at this party?" trying to change the subject.

"Did you come with Ben?" Madison asked happy. "Are you guys back together?" I didn't answerer instead I just shook my head.

"Then who are you here with?" Lauren asked "I'm sure you didn't come here by yourself" I ignored her question and found my shoes a lot more interesting than they were two minutes ago.

"Are you sure your parents' divorce was all?" Madison asked. "I hate to say it Amy, but it seemed as if someone or something had made you upset when you came running in here" I was taking aback at how straightforward she was.

"I…I" I began once again but had no clue on what to say. They both looked at me but I didn't know at all how I should begin to tell them what was going on or if I could truly trust them.

I took a deep breath before I said

"There's something I should tell you" My heart was beating faster and faster and soon it would pop out of my body. They didn't say anything, instead they just let me take the time that I needed.

"I did something and now that thing has…" I didn't know how to explain it.

"It's ok" Madison said sounding a bit terrified since she didn't know what to expect. I took a deep breath and then another. I tried to find the courage to tell them but it wasn't there.

"It's just that…" I couldn't do it and I felt tears run down my cheeks as I tried.

"You can tell us" Lauren said and I knew she was right. I could tell them they were my friends. I should tell them.

"You have to promise you won't tell _anyone?_" I said making them promise and they nodded their heads slowly as a response.

"Of course" Madison said and I felt a little bit better. I knew I had to tell them, they were my friends and I owe it to them. I just had to tell them right out, tell the truth. I counted to three slowly in my head still with tears running down my face. _1…2…3_

"I'm pregnant" I said quietly but I was sure they had heard it; I could see it in their expressions. Both Madison and Lauren looked at each other and it was like they were two question marks.

"Amy?" Lauren said "Are you sure?" She sounded a bit doubtful.

"Positive" I said and felt more tears streaming down my face.

"I didn't you had gone _that _far with Ben" Madison said trying to figure out how I had ended up in this situation.

"I didn't" I whispered.

"And you're positive that you are pregnant?" Lauren asked me to be on the safe side.

"Yes. I'm pretty sure" I said.

"But Ben was your first boyfriend?" Madison asked looking at me with questioning eyes.

"True" I said wiping the tears with the back of my hand. "But this wasn't like that" The slut feeling came back to me and I once again felt used. Especially from what happened with Adrian just minutes ago.

"Then what happened?" Lauren asked me trying not to sound too curious.

"It was at band camp and it's just happened" I said shortly not wanting to get into details.

"Wait at band camp?" Madison tried to get everything right "That means that you are…"

"Two and a half months pregnant" I said finishing her sentence.

"Do you know who the father is?" Lauren asked me carefully not wanting to offend me but of course I was. How could she ask something like that?

"Yes" I said coldly "How stupid do you think I am?"

"Then who is he if it's not Ben?" Madison asked "Do we know him?"

At the same time I could hear someone open the door and I saw Ricky appear.

"Amy?" He asked and then saw that I wasn't alone. Both Madison and Lauren looked at me with big eyes and then over at Ricky understanding that he was the father.

"Ricky I…I" I didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry" he said and looked at Madison and Lauren. "I see that you're busy but if you want to talk I'll be in the car" He then sighed and stepped out of the room.

"Ricky?" Madison and Lauren said at the same time.

"How?" Lauren asked sounding shocked.

"It's just happened" I said not wanting to explain everything which Madison and Lauren understood and didn't ask anything more about it.

"Does he know?" Madison asked sincerely.

"No" I said quiet and shock my head "How could I tell him?" I then added mostly for myself.

"But you came here with Ricky tonight?" Lauren asked. "So are you like into him because I thought you really liked Ben?"

"I'm not sure" I said honestly "But the first thing I knew when I found out that I was pregnant was that I had to break up with Ben. It would be too hard otherwise"

"Oh Amy" Madison let out and gave me a hug and it felt good. It was nice to know that I actually had my friends in this. Like that somehow made it just a little bit ok, knowing that I wasn't alone. And right now I really needed that.


	6. Chapter five: I gotta tell you

**Author's note:**

**I'm updating again. This is chapter five and I hope you will enjoy it. Since it's back to school tomorrow I won't have that much time writing and it may take some time before I update again. **

**And thank you those of you who have reviewed I'm very thankful for it. And those of you who hasn't please do it would mean a lot to know what you think!**

**// Miss-Jojjo**

* * *

Chapter five: I gotta tell you 

I had walked back to Ricky's car after telling both Madison and Lauren about me being pregnant. I knew I had to go back to Ricky and straighten things out between us since the Adrian incident. I felt like I had acted like a child just running away like that from Ricky. I mean I don't even know what had happen and Adrian was drunk as well so I couldn't exactly trust her. I guess I was just extra sensitive now that I was pregnant and therefore might've overreacted a bit.

After I had taken my seat next to Ricky he said

"I thought you might come" and then he smiled "At least I hope you would"

"Well I'm here" I said and gave out a big sigh.

"Let me take you home" Ricky said and then started the car and drove away from Jack's house.

The car ride was quiet since nobody said anything and it was some sort of awkward silence because I think that the both of us felt like there was some type of unfinished business in the air. I was looking out the window trying to avoid Ricky because I had no idea what I was going to say to him and what he had to say to me after what had went down earlier that night.

Ricky stopped the car on the street outside my house. It was dark and the street was empty except for the two of us or maybe I should say three including the baby.

"I'm sorry Amy" Ricky said to me from the bottom of his heart. "I don't know what else to say" I looked at him trying to figure out what I felt.

"You don't have to say anything" I said "I mean it's not like we are like a couple or anything. You can see whoever you want and do whatever you want and so can I" I knew it was true but it still had hurt knowing that Ricky had been with Adrian last night.

"I guess you're right" he said and looked at me "But Adrian is nothing compared to you and last night she was just bored and asked me to come over" I held my hand up to stop him.

"You can spare me the details" I said and then laughed a small laugh.

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry" Ricky then looked straight into my eyes "it seemed as if it had upset you quite a lot and that was never my intensions"

"It wasn't that" I said quickly and then looked away.

"No?" Ricky asked sounding surprised. "Then what was it?"

"Nothing" I said trying to change the subject.

"Was it something else I did?" He asked wondering what was going on.

"No" I said "It's just… Forget it"

"Oh come on?" He said wanting to know "You can tell me"

"Trust me you don't wanna know" I said in a whisper.

"Amy, are you ok?" Ricky asked changing the tone in his voice and sounding more concerned.

"I'm fine" I said and then looked out the window again.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me more closely "You have acted a little weird all night?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked critically.

"I don't know" He said "I mean, If you really didn't get that upset about Adrian then how come you ran off like that?"

I knew that I had to tell him, even though it scared me to death. He got closer and closer to the truth and soon he would know. I thought about it all. About becoming a mother at fifteen and I felt petrified. How was I suppose to make it, how was I suppose to be a mother? The tears were beginning to burn under my eyelids once again, just like they had done with Madison and Lauren. I could feel one tear fall down my cheek and I was sure that Ricky had noticed it.

"Amy, come on and tell me" He said and took my hand. "Maybe I can help?"

"I'm afraid it's a little too late for that" I said and felt more tears running down my cheeks.

"What do you mean by 'it's too late for that'?" he asked a little confused ignoring the tears that were running down my cheeks.

"I mean exactly that" I said shortly.

I took a deep breath and looked into Ricky's eyes. God, he had beautiful eyes. I hoped I would get to the chance to stare into his eyes again after this but I wasn't too sure.

"Ricky there's something I need to tell you" I said "And I'm sure you're not gonna like it and I'm not so sure I do either but I need to tell you anyway"

"Ok" Ricky said and waited for me to speak again.

"You know that night at band camp" I started and Ricky nodded. "Well, I sort of got pregnant" I had told him. I had told Ricky Underwood that I was caring his baby. I had told Ricky Underwood that his life was never going to be the same again. I had told Ricky that he was going to be a father.

But the saying wasn't the worst part it was the aftermath of the saying. It was the silence. I hated silence it was so hard to tell what people thought when it was quiet and I really needed to know what Ricky thought right now. I'm sure he hated me even though it's just as much his fault as it was mine. But there was nothing we could do about that now. We just had to except the fact that I was pregnant and decide if we wanted this baby or not.

"Oh" Ricky said l after a long time of silence. I wondered if it had taken this much time for it to sink in, for him to understand what it was that I just had told him.

"Yeah" I said and then it was back to silence.

"So how long have you know?" He suddenly asked me.

"Not that long" I said.

"Ok" Ricky said and nodded. "And I'm guessing you just told those girls…?" He asked referring to Madison and Lauren.

"Yeah, I did" I said "And my sister knows too"

"Do you know what you want to do?" He then asked me. It was such a powerful question and led me to tears again.

"No" I said sobbing the words out. "I mean I'm only fifteen and I don't think I can be a mother?"

"Wow" Ricky then said "This wasn't exactly the way I thought the night would end"

"I know I'm sorry" I said wanting to make it all untrue. "I just thought you should know. You don't have to feel obligated to do anything. This is my problem"

"Amy, that's not true" Ricky said as I started to get out of the car.

"Maybe" I said hesitatingly. "But Ricky just so you now, I'm not ready to let the world know yet and I think that we shouldn't hang out for awhile so we can think about this in peace and be sure that we make the right decision"

"Amy?" Ricky asked wondering if it was really the best idea.

"Please" I said and then I shut the door to the car and headed up the porch thinking of a good excuse to why I didn't stay at Madison's house for the night that I could tell my mother.

*

The weekend had passed and it was Monday. I had told Ashley about me telling Ricky, Madison and Lauren about the pregnancy. That also meant that Ashley had found out that it was Ricky who was the father. But luckily she didn't care that it was him all she cared about was that I had finally told him.

It was lunch time and I was waiting for Lauren and Madison to come and sit with me. I hadn't talked to them since the party and I needed them to know that I had told Ricky. I really hoped they could keep it all to themselves and not saying anything to anyone.

I saw Ben sitting at his usual table together with Henry and Alice. He had not once looked at me or in my direction; it was like he was oblivious to my existence. If he only knew the truth then I think he would be glad that I broke up with him, I mean it was for his own good.

Madison and Lauren came and took a seat next to me.

"Hey Amy" Madison said hesitating. "How are you?"

"I'm fine" I said. "And about Saturday night…" I began.

"Amy it's ok" Lauren said "We'll be here for you"

"Whatever you decide" Madison added. I just smiled at them.

"And I told Ricky as well" I said thinking that I had done the right thing.

"We hoped you would do that" Madison said.

"He deserves to know" Lauren added.

"I guess" I mumbled thinking of Ricky and what he would choose to do now that he knew.

"Have you been to a doctor yet?" Madison asked me "Just to know that everything is alright?"

"No" I said. I was too scared to go to see a doctor. It would be the last thing that made it all true. Hearing a doctor saying that I was pregnant would really mean that I was.

"You should. Amy" Lauren said and looked at me "For your sake and the baby"

"Yeah" Madison continued "Plus, then you can know about your options as well" I stared down the table feeling afraid. _Know about your options as well? _I knew she meant like an abortion but I don't think that I would be able to go through with one.

"It's ok to be scared, Amy" Lauren comforted me "And it would be weird if you weren't. But we all know that you haft to see a doctor. And you don't have to go alone we can come with you, if you want?" I thought about it for a second and if they came along and I wouldn't have to do it alone then I could probably manage it.

"You promise I won't have to do it alone?" I asked shyly.

"Of course" Madison said. "We take you after school today so you won't have time to back out"

"Ok" I said knowing that it was for mine and the baby's own good.

*

"Amy" I heard someone call from behind and I recognized the voice at the same time. It was Ricky. I kept on walking through the crowded school. It was the end of the day and I was suppose to meet Lauren and Madison so they could take me to the doctor and I tried my hardest not to back out of it.

"Amy wait up!" Ricky was coming closer and I had no other option then to face him.

"What do you want?" I asked as he stopped right in front of me.

"I think we need to talk?" He said.

"Didn't you get enough of Saturday's talk?" I asked a little sarcastically.

"I know you want me to take some time and think about this and I have had time?" Ricky began.

"I don't think we should talk about this right now" I said silently "Not when we're in school"

"Ok, let me drive you home then?" He offered. I could see in his eyes that he really wanted to talk.

"I can't" I said truthfully.

"Why is that?" He asked. I wasn't sure if I should tell him about going to the doctors. But I guess that since he already knew about the pregnancy it couldn't hurt.

"I'm going to the doctor" I said and waited for his reaction which luckily was calm.

"By yourself?" He asked and looked intensely at me.

"No" I said and stared down my feet. "Lauren and Madison are going to take me"

"Do you guys need a ride?" He asked with a small smile.

*

The four of us, Madison, Lauren, Ricky and I sat in the car in a dead silence. No one said a single thing. I sat in the front seat next to Ricky and Lauren and Madison sat in the back. I looked out the window feeling nervous about finally go to the doctor. I guessed that Ricky was kind of nervous too because he was holding the stirring wheel hardly like it was going to fall off otherwise and it was making his hands turn a little white. But to ignore the silence he reached for the Radio and instead there were some of the heaviest riffs known to mankind.

"How can you listen to this?" Madison asked Ricky from the back and we all wondered where she had gotten the confidence to say anything.

"You don't like it?" Ricky asked her with a smugly face.

"No" She said firmly.

"That's too bad" He said. "My car, my music"

"Well we wouldn't have to be in your car if you hadn't knocked up our best friend" Madison pointed out.

"Madison" I said trying to make her stop for Ricky's sake. He didn't need this, it was nice enough of him to drive us and he shouldn't have to hear something like that form Madison.

"Amy, it's ok" Ricky said to me and I could see that he was starting to relax a little. "You know what, it's true. You wouldn't have to be in here if I hadn't got Amy pregnant. But it is what it is and there's nothing no one of us can do about it. And I'm sure you blame me and maybe it is my fault and maybe all happened for some reason, maybe it was faith. We don't know. But what I do know is that right know all we can do is support Amy in whatever she choose to do and be there for her because that's what I'm planning on doing" Ricky looked at me and I couldn't have been more grateful that he had said that. He wanted to be there for me and for the baby and he had sounded so sweet when he had said that, it was like he was defending me or something. I could see that both Madison and Lauren were shocked by the words that Ricky had just said, especially since he hadn't known about the pregnancy for that long. I guessed that they didn't expect something that thoughtful and responsible coming out of Ricky's moth but it had and it made me feel just a little bit better.

Ricky parked outside the clinic on a big parking lot. I could feel my heart pounding a little faster than before but I felt ready to do this.

"You two can go in and I'll be there in a sec" I said to Madison and Lauren as they started to get out.

"But?" Lauren began.

"I will be fine" I said and they slammed the doors shut leaving me and Ricky alone.

"So?" He said as we were alone.

"Did you mean those things you said to Madison?" I asked wonderingly.

"Yeah, I did" He said "Amy. It didn't take me much time to figure out that I want to do the right thing with you and this" He took my hand and then added slowly "Amy I promise you'll not alone in this. I'll be by your side"

"Thank you" I said. "That means a lot." He smiled at me.

"So do you want company?" He asked timidly.

"Sure" I said and stepped out of the car.

*

I sat out in the waiting area waiting for the doctor to call me in. I was nervous and the waiting room with all the screaming children didn't exactly make it all better. The chairs were uncomfortable as well and the green paint on the walls that was suppose to calm you down was just making me feel sick. I glanced over at Ricky and he didn't look all that better either. He seemed kind of stressed as he was tapping his foot gently against the floor which he had done for the last thirty minute or so.

"Amy Jurgens" A nurse called out and I got up from chair and so did Lauren, Madison and Ricky. I looked at them and them at me.

"I can go with you?" Ricky said.

"Ok" I said and we walked after the nurse who showed us into a room and said that the doctor would come and see us soon. I hoped I did the right thing by letting Ricky come with me but I figured since all that he had told me in the car he deserved to be here with me; after all he was the father.

We didn't say anything to each other as we sat there waiting for the doctor to come. When the door opened up we both jumped a little and in came a nice looking woman in her 40's.

"Hey. I'm doctor Anderson" She said and took a seat at the other side of her desk. Both Ricky and I said hello to her.

"So Amy" Doctor Anderson began "I looked at the pregnancy test that you left when you came and it's positive" it was true. It was all confirmed. I, Amy Jurgens a fifteen year old girl in high school was pregnant. I took a deep sigh and the doctor continued.

"Do you have any idea of how far gone you are?" she asked.

"About two and a half month" I answered her without a doubt.

"Ok" she said and made some note which made me nervous.

"And you know that Ricky here is the father?" She asked me.

"Yes" I said "There's no one else who it can be" I saw that Ricky felt a little uncomfortable as I said that.

"Ok" she said "That's good" then she wrote down something else in her note book or what I'm guessing was my journal.

"Have you told your parents yet?" She asked us and we both shocked our head. "I figured that" she said. "But it's important that you do. This is something you can't hide forever"

"Well, were still trying to figure things out" Ricky's pointed out as he saw that I didn't know what to say.

"Let's talk about that for awhile" she then supposed "Have you thought about what you want to do?"

"No" I said. "How can you know something like that? I mean I'm fifteen years old and pregnant and my life is about to change no matter what I decide" I felt myself getting anxious as I thought about my options and about the future.

"What are the options exactly?" Ricky asked the doctor carefully so he wouldn't upset me over that question.

"Well" She began slowly "There's still time for an abortion, then there's always adopting and keeping the baby"

It went quiet in the room as she gave us time to let the options sink in. Ricky looked at me and it was the first time that I had seen him looking like he truly didn't know what to do. He looked just like I felt. How could we know what to do?

"I'm gonna schedule you for an ultra sound in a month and I'm hoping that until that you will have told you're parents and thought a little more about this" She said and then led us out from the room. Both Ricky and I thanked her for the help and went back to Lauren and Madison with our heads thinking to the extreme. Both Lauren and Madison gave me a big hug and Ricky gave us some privacy and said.

"I'll go and start the car"

I told Madison and Lauren what the doctor had said and then we headed out for the car and Ricky.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! **

**// miss-jojjo**


	7. Chapter six: What Rumor?

**Authors note**

**Hey again!!**

**I know it was a long time since I've updated last and I'm sorry. This isn't a very long chapter but it's kind of important for the story and soon it will get a little more Ricky and Amy action, I promise. **

**It may take some time until I update again because I have national exams coming up in English, Spanish, Swedish and math and I also have a big religion project that is due soon. But I promise I will do my best to update as soon as possible. **

_**Thank you those of you who have reviewed my story and those who haven't please do!!!**_

**// Miss Jojjo **

Chapter six: What rumor?

I looked at myself in the mirror. God, I was really beginning to get a bigger belly and soon everyone could tell that I was pregnant. That thought scared the hell out of me. I wasn't ready for the world to know yet and to be a public display for what can happen to teenage girls.

It had been about two weeks since I was at the doctor's office together with Ricky. I was glad that he knew about it and that he had been willing to come with me. It made feel like I could trust him a little more than I had thought. At school we kept our distance and I appreciated it, it would be too hard getting into a conversation regarding the baby at school.

I put my hands on my belly and examined myself in the mirror. I really had to do something about my stomach soon my parents would start to get suspicious and I guess I couldn't exactly tell them that I was gaining weight forever. But today wasn't that day so instead I went for a new approach. I grabbed the sweater that was laying on my unmade bed and put it on. It was kind of big but that was what I hoped for. I looked at myself again in the mirror and I was happy to see that you could not suspect a thing. The sweater covered it all up. And lucky for me was that I had a couple of other big sweaters laying in my closet that I could use, at least for now.

It was Friday at lunch and I sat with Lauren and Madison. It had been a weird day starting with the usual morning sickness and then when I went down the hall I could feel people starring at me. Why would they stare at me? No one knows about the baby unless Ricky would have told anyone and I doubted that he had. Maybe I was just over sensitive and over susceptive but I knew that people were talking behind my back.

I looked over at Madison and Lauren as we sat and ate our food. They didn't seem to have notice that people were glancing over at our table and then quickly looked away as they noticed that I had caught them looking.

"Okay guys" I said "What is going?"

"What do you mean" Lauren asked clueless and looked over at Madison wondering if she knew.

"I mean with the stares?" I tried.

"I wasn't starring" Madison said quickly without knowing what it was I was talking about.

"Haven't you noticed that basically everybody out here has looked over at our table" I said ignoring what Madison had said.

"You're just being a little paranoid" Lauren began

"Paranoid?" I asked questioning her choice of word

"Well, Maybe not paranoid" She began "I meant more like you worry that people might know about the…" she threw a quick glance towards my stomach.

"But they can't know" I said quietly. "Right?"

"Not unless Ricky has told anyone" Madison said and looked at Lauren for help.

"Yeah" Lauren said and nodded slightly "I mean me and Madison haven't told anyone" She insured me. But I still wasn't convinced. Because frm the corner of my eye I could see Ben staring at me and he didn't take his eyes of me. But it wasn't the kind of stare that had used before; this was a lot more scary and hard to explain. But he was definitely starring at me and didn't take his eyes off of me even though he saw that I had noticed his stare.

*

I was standing by my locker trying to get out a book that had ended up in the other end. I had to reach in really deep to get it and therefore I didn't see as she came up behind me. I turned around and there she was. She was wearing a very cut low sweater and her lips was way too glossy.

"Adrian?" I asked surprised. Not sure what she wanted to say to me and then closed my locker.

"Amy" She began "so we meet yet again"

"And you remembered my name" I said and then started walking away from her not wanting anything to do with her. But it wasn't so easy to get rid of her. I could feel her walking behind.

"What do you want?" I asked and turned around having to face her even though I didn't want. I just wanted to escape from her and the memories that were starting to come alive inside of me from the night at Jack's party.

"I want to ask you something" she said and looked intensely at me.

"Ask on" I said and wanting her to cut to the chase.

"Have you heard about the rumors?" She looked at me and I was confused.

"What rumors?" I asked.

"About you?" Oh no, I thought to myself. Maybe they know. But they can't. I mean it would be impossible for anyone to know, right?

"About me?" I asked with the straightest face I could.

"Yes, about you" she said.

"I guess I haven't" I admitted.

"Well there's two actually" She began.

I looked at her wanting to know what they were.

"The first one is that you are suffering from an eating disorder" She said and smiled a little which made me not like her at all.

"An eating disorder?" I asked questioning what it was that she was saying.

"Mm" She said "Since you started to wear those baggy clothes and it's like public knowledge that anyone with an eating disorder are trying to hide their body. Plus Sarah Dee said that she had saw you throwing up in the girls' room one morning" It was true. I had thrown up a couple of times in school and one day I had seen her outside the cubicle and there was no way for me to deny it. So I had just told her that I was fine and then moved on. But it didn't mean that I she went around telling everybody that I had an eating disorder.

"Well, I don't" I said and started to continue walking to class.

"I know" Adrian said behind me. I turned around and looked at her again. "But I think it's more the second one that is true" she said and I started to listen to her again.

"And what does the second rumor say?" I asked as there were only me and Adrian left in the hallway and I was pretty sure that I was by now late for class.

"That you are pregnant" she said easily, like there was no problem at all for her to say that word. Pregnant. It had too much meaning to it for me nowadays and just hearing the word made me be a bit startled.

"You think I'm pregnant" I said and tried to laugh it away. "I can't be pregnant I'm a virgin" I lied quickly.

"Are you sure about that?" She asked me and this time I could actually hear some compassion in her voice, like somewhere deep inside she was actually caring for me. How weird isn't that?

"Yes" I said "I'm not pregnant"

"Amy" Adrian walked closer to me "I know that you are lying to me right now. And you know it's true"

"No, it's not" I protested. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?

"Come on, it's all over the school. And the signs too, I mean hiding your belly morning sickness it's all there" She tried to make me understand that the school know about it, but I refused to admit it.

"Like I said" I began "I can't be pregnant since I'm a Virgin with a very big V" She ignored what I said and I started to walk away from her.

"Maybe you should tell Ben that he is about to become a father" She said loudly in the empty hallway to me.

"Ben?" I asked.

"Yeah" She said "I mean he is the father, right?" You wish he was, I thought. If she knew that I was caring Ricky's baby then I don't think she would want me to admit that I was pregnant. It was way too obvious from the way that she had acted over at Jack's house that she was in love with him.

"You're delusional" I said and walked to class with a feeling that I this meant trouble.

*

I was waiting once again at the parking lot for my mum to pick me up and she had called telling me that she would be late because of traffic. I had seen Ricky leaving school early and I hoped it wasn't because of the rumors going around the school; I would've hated it if it was.

I saw someone coming up to the parking lot and as the person got close enough I saw that it was Ben. He stopped at the sight of me and I could see that he was deliberating if he should go up to me or not. Then I could see that he took a deep breath and headed for me. I started to prepare myself for the conversation I knew that I was soon going to have with him.

"Hey" I said not knowing anything else to say as he got closer to me. Ben ignored the_ Hey_ and got right down to what he wanted to have said.

"How could you tell everyone that you are pregnant and then saying that it's my baby?" He asked and it caught me off guard what he had to say.

"What do you mean?" I asked confusedly.

"Is it a trick or something that you friends had made you do, because frankly I don't get it? I mean you broke up with me" He said and took a deep breath because he was forgetting to breathe.

"Slow down" I begged slightly "What do you mean by _something my friends are making me do_?" I asked a bit disappointed. I mean sure I might've broken up with him. But I thought that he knew me better than accusing me for spreading rumors about him, and if he really thought it through he would realize that I would be suffering from this rumor as well. How many teenage girls would like to have a rumor going around that they are pregnant? I know I hate it.

"Why have you told everyone that you are pregnant?" He asked shorting it all down.

"I haven't" I said.

"But then why would everyone say that you are?" He asked.

"I don't know" I said feeling that I could get out of this pretty easily. "I guess people were bored or something" I tried to smooth it over.

"Well, Alice told me that she had heard that you were throwing up in the girls' room and that's where it all started"

"Well, I haven't thrown up in the girls' room" I said. "Because I'm not pregnant"

"I know you're not pregnant" he said "You're still a virgin" In his eyes maybe. I went silent after his question. "Are you a virgin?" he then asked.

"I…I" I stammered out but then couldn't say anything else.

"Oh my god, you're not a virgin" He then understood.

"After or before?" he asked and I didn't know what he meant.

"After or before what?" I asked looking at him closely.

"After or before we were a couple" he asked and I didn't know if I should answer his question. But I said

"Before" quietly and then looked down at my shoes.

"I didn't know" Ben said confused. It went quiet and I could see that he was thinking over something but I didn't know what. It felt weird knowing that he might stand there right in front of me trying to figure out who I had done it with and when. He was truly contemplating over it.

"Wait" he said all of the sudden.

"Wait for what?" I asked stupidly.

"It's true" He said and looked at me with big eyes "You are pregnant" I got nervous as he said it but then I couldn't hold it in anymore and started to cry right in front of him. All the feelings that I had kept inside of me trying to think that I could actually be okay with being a teenage mum and that maybe somehow this would all just go away. It all came out.

"Amy?" He asked and surveyed me from the distance.

"I don't want to be" I said and hoped it wouldn't be drowned under my tears.

"Wow" he said and I could hear that he was taken aback from what I had said "I just thought it was a rumor"

"It's not" I said and tears kept rolling down my face.

"Is that why you broke up with me?" he then asked and I pulled myself together and nodded.

"I didn't want you to suffer from it" I explained slowly "But I guess you did" I then whispered.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"They are already saying you're the father" I looked at him hoping that he wouldn't hate me.

"Right" He said and smiled slightly. "But you don't have to worry about me."

"I know" I said "You are very strong Ben. I really admire that in you" I gave him a shy smile.

"You too" He said and then he gave me a big hug and it felt nice being in his embrace for a short amount of time. Then all of the sudden Ricky's face came up in my mind and I felt a little guilty for standing here and hugging Ben. Which was weird since all Ricky and I was were friends and we would probably stay that way even though I was caring his child and maybe somewhere deep down I had once wanted to be more than friends with him and hoping that it could happen. But I knew that it would never happen. But still, I couldn't help seeing Ricky's face in my mind and somehow that made me smile.

Then I let go and just in time for my mum's car to drive into the parking lot.

"Bye Ben" I said and it reminded and the whole situation reminded me of the break up with him, the parking lot and saying goodbye. But the goodbye this time meant something more than only a break up. This goodbye meant letting go of the past and focus on the future. This goodbye meant that one door was closing but another one opened. This goodbye meant leaving my old life behind including Ben and moving onto my new one including my baby. And this was the first time I realized it.

I put my hand on my stomach and patted it. From now on I knew that I would have to think of what is best for the baby; meaning that it should have a father and a life including Ricky.

I jumped into my mother's car but I even though I just had came to this realization I didn't have the courage to tell my mum so I just acted on as everything was normal. But I knew that soon it would all change.

_**Remember to review!!! **_


	8. Chapter seven: Mama, I'm sorry

**Authors note:**

**Hey Again!! **

**So I was able to finish this chapter and it's a very important chapter for me. It has some scenes that I have thought about from the beginning of the story and I hope you like it. **

**I just want you to know that there might be some time until I get the chance to upload again and I hope that's okay. **

**And I would just like to say a big THANK YOU to those of you who have reviewed my story. Like I have said before it means a lot and it keeps me going with this story. So please review this chapter as well and those who haven't please do!!!!**

**// Miss-Jojjo ******

**(**_**Remember that I don't owe anything, it's a pure fanfiction)**_

Chapter seven: Mama, I'm sorry

The rain was pouring down on the car roof and outside the sky was full of dark and grey clouds and it had been like that for the whole day. It felt like the bad weather was some sort of a sign that something bad soon would happen. Just as I thought that, I could hear the thunder in the distance and it made me quake. I couldn't remember the last time that it had rained like this.

It had been a week since I had said goodbye to Ben on the parking lot and I was glad that it was a weekend so I could get some time off. Ricky and I had talked about the rumors and we had decided just to ignore them. This was just our business and there was no reason for others to know about it. Besides, no one knew that Ricky was the father they all thought it was Ben. I knew that I had to tell my parents before they might hear something of the rumor. But I tried to push that thought out of my head.

"This whether" Ricky said "It sucks" I looked over at him and laughed a little.

"That's all you can say?" I asked humorously.

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

"We are about to be parents in six month and all you can think of is the weather?" It was kind of fun but also kind of nice knowing that the baby wasn't all he thought about.

"I just figured that we had talked enough about that for awhile" He explained with a small smile "Plus, we can't do that much until we have seen the doctor next week and until we have told our parents" I knew he was right.  
"Does that mean that you will come with me to the doctor's?" I asked him hopefully.

"Is it a date?" he asked jokingly.

"You wish" I answered him quickly and a little smugly.

"She's cocky" He said and laughed.

"I try" I said and we both laughed.

"Of course I'll come with you" He said. "That's the least I could do" he gave me a small and genuine smile.

"Thanks" I said. He took my hand and squeezed it.

"Come here" He said and gave me a big hug. His embrace was warm and gentle and it made me feel safe. "It's all going to be okay"

He let go of me but I think that we both wanted to stay in each others' arms just a little longer.

"I'll see you later" I said and got out of the car.

"You too" I heard him saying as I closed the door and then started to run towards my house trying to escape the rain that was falling down from the sky to hit the ground hard.

I opened the door and to my surprise I saw my dad standing in the living room. I stopped at the sight of him. I had seen him since he had moved out, just not here at home with my mum. I blinked to make sure that it was true.

"Dad?" I asked "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, sweetheart" He said and I went up to give him a hug. "Your mother thought it would be a good idea to have a family dinner again" He explained. It was weird how he had used the word family dinner because in my eyes we hadn't been a family for quite some time.

"Sounds nice" I lied. I didn't want to sit and listen to my parents arguing over dinner, I shouldn't have to hear that.

"Is Ashley home yet?" I asked my mother who was in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I think she's upstairs" My mother answered as she was taking something out of the oven and it filled the house with a heavenly sent.

"Ok" I said and was on my way up to her room. I didn't actually have anything to say to her I just wanted an easy escape.

"But we're just about to eat" My mother said.

"Great" I lied again and went to take a seat at the table.

"Ashley, dinner" My father yelled at her from the bottom of the stair.

"Coming" She said and you could hear her walking down the stairs.

"It smells delicious Anne" My father said to mum as he took a seat at the table.

"Well, thank you George" My mother said and put on a fake smile.

Ashley came as well and our so called family was once again gathered like nothing was wrong. We all started to eat and my mother commented the weather a couple of times and my father told us about his new apartment and that he was planning on fixing up a room for Ashley and me and therefore asked what colors we wanted. With other words they all acted like everything was fine and perfectly normal. The worst thing was that Ashley seemed to buy it as well and that really disappointed me.

"So how was your day, Amy?" My mother asked me. I didn't feel like I wanted to answerer her so I just shrugged.

"Not good?" She asked.

"Guess not" I said to her like it should be obvious that I didn't like this conversation or had had a good day. But it wasn't true. If you didn't count the fact that the rumors were still circling around the school I had had a pretty good day. Maybe not the best but it was fine until I found out that I had to suffer through a dinner with both my parents.

"How come?" My father asked me.

"Because of this" I mumbled.

"Amy?" My mother asked me a bit angrily.

"You are all just lying to yourself" I said in a high voice.

"That's enough" My father said to me. "Your mother and I are trying our best so the two of you can see the both of us at the same time…"

"By living in the denial" I interrupted him in an angry tone. "This isn't right"

"It's not denial, Amy" Ashley said.

"Not you too" I said and looked over at Ashley feeling let down by her.

"I know this isn't like it used to be, but at least we can be some sort of family" She said.

"By pretending everything is normal?" I asked her and my parents. And then it hit me, just like they were pretending about this; that we were a family, I had been pretending that I was normal and that I was not pregnant.

"Amy" My mother said but didn't know how to continue, I think she knew that I was right by saying that this was all pretend.

"Nothing's normal" I said.

"What do you mean by nothing's normal?" My father asked me in concerned voice. But instead I looked over at Ashley the only person around this table that knew what I was talking about.

"Amy, don't" She said "Not right now. Don't ruin it all" She knew exactly what I was about to do.

"I thought you wanted me to tell them?" I asked her. Both my parents looked at us with alarmed faces.

"Tell us what?" My mother asked us.

"Nothing" Ashley said to my mother and then looked over at me "This isn't the right time"

"There's never gonna be a right time for this" I said to her as I realized it in my mind. It was now or never.

"Mum, dad" I said and looked over at both of them. "There's something I gotta tell you"

"What is it honey?" My dad asked me. I tried to keep myself calm and the last thing I wanted was to start to cry.

"I'm pregnant" I said and I could feel the whole room going quiet.

"Is this true, Ashley?" My mother asked her.

"I'm afraid so" She said. My father sat dead quiet in his chair staring down at his plate.

"I'm sorry" I said and those damn tears started to run down my face. "I just thought you should know about it"

"How could you be so stupid" My mother said and I could hear that she tried to keep herself from falling into tears.

"I didn't mean for it to happen" I defended myself.

"You're fifteen years old and…" She just shook her head.

"Dad?" I asked.

"I don't know what to say" he said "I'm choked that something like this could happen to you" He admitted.

It felt like the room had gotten smaller and I knew I had to get out of there.

"I'm sorry" I said once again and got up from chair and headed for the door and a tear escaped from my eye.

"Amy, where are you going?" My mother asked me from behind.

"Out" I said and opened the door without taking my jacket with me.

"Come back here" My father screamed at me but I just pushed the door shut behind me and started running out into the rain. I felt bad for leaving Ashley alone with them and this. I guess my parents would ask her all sorts of question and this was my mess, but I had to get out of there.

As I had gotten down the street I slowed down because I was sure my parents wouldn't come after me. I started walking in the rain and soon I was shivering from the cold and my clothes were soaking wet. Tears were rolling down my face without any control and it was hard to tell what was rain and what were tears. Occasionally a car would drive by me and I looked up to make sure that it wouldn't be my parents and it wasn't.

As I had walked for half an hour I stopped. I stood there in the rain in the middle of the street and look up towards a yellow house with a porch in front of it. It looked rather cozy. I shivered from the cold and I doubted that I would ever be warm again and I doubted I would ever be okay again. The tears had been rolling down my cheeks for the whole walk and this was all I could think about, this was the only place I wanted to go.

I walked up to the door and knocked. My heart was beating unevenly and I my hands were shaking. I could hear someone walk up to the door on the inside and then the door opened.

A woman in her late 50's opened the door and she looked happy. I could feel the warmth from the inside coming over me and it made me realize how cold I actually was.

"Can I help you?" The woman asked rather shocked but nice.

"I was wondering if Ricky is home?" I asked and dried a tear from my cheek with the back of my hand.

"Ricky" The woman yelled and then she looked at me "Why don't you come in" She moved me in and closed the door behind me.

"What is it?" I could hear Ricky asking as he came up a stair and then he saw me. I think he was shocked as well to see me.

"Amy?" He asked and walked up to me "What happen?"

"I'm gonna leave you two alone" The woman said and I guessed she was Ricky's foster mum. "I'll be in the kitchen if you want something" She walked away and left the two of us alone and I was grateful for it.

"I told them" I mumbled.

"Your parents?" Ricky asked and I nodded. "Well, that's good" Ricky added.

"I don't know" I said honestly "They seemed angry and I couldn't stay there" I stopped and caught my breath. "I didn't know where to go" I explained.

"They kicked you out?" Ricky asked me surprised.

"No" I answered but I was sure that if I had given them enough time they would've "I left on my own"

"It's gonna be okay" Ricky said and hugged me.

"No it won't" I said and he pulled me in tighter and I breathed in his scent. "You should've seen their faces" I told him. "They were so disappointed in me"

He let go of me and instead took my hand.

"Amy, they're not disappointed in you" He told me "No one could ever be disappointed in you. I mean you're you" I didn't know what he meant by it but it felt like it was a good thing. "I'm sure they just surprised" I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

"All I know is that I can't go back there. Not tonight at least" I said and looked Ricky helpingly "I want to give them some time to let it all sink in"

"I guess you could stay here" Ricky said and gave me another big hug "So I know you're safe. Both of you" I gave him a small smile.

"What about your foster mum?" I asked him hoping that she wouldn't be a problem and I didn't think that she would be.

"She sort of knows" Ricky said quietly "I'm sorry Amy. I just felt like I needed to tell someone" I saw that he hated to admit that he had told someone. But I guess I couldn't be mad at him for it. His right to tell her was just the same right I had to tell my parents.

"It's okay" I said "I'm glad you did"

"Come on" Ricky said and I kept my hand in his. I followed him down the stairs and down to Ricky's room. I wondered what his room would look like. Would he have pictures of naked girls covering the walls or would he even have some furniture? But it was nothing like that. He had a sofa in the middle of the room and then a bed at against one of the walls. He had a bookshelf and a desk and he also had his own television.

"I should get you some dry clothes" Ricky said and went to one of his wardrobe. "They might be a little big" He said and took out one of his sweaters and a pair of pants.

"I don't think you should worry" I said and couldn't help but to laugh a little "I'm not my usual size anymore" I said.

"Well here you go" He said and handed me the clothes.

"Thanks" I said and took them. They smelled just like him.

"God, you are really wet" He said and examined me. "Let me get you a towel"

"Okay" I said. I was very wet and I was shivering from the cold

"You are really soaking wet" He said as he came with a towel. He put it around my shoulders and started to rub me warm and dry.

"Thanks" I said and smiled and he returned it.

"How cold are you girl?" He asked me because I didn't stop shivering.

"I can't help it" I said deafeningly.

"Your hair is all wet too" He said and started to dry my hair with the towel. We were close now, very close. I could feel that he slowly started to stop with trying to dry my hair and instead he looked into my eyes.

"I think you might be dry now" he said slowly. Then he moved in closer and so did I. We were so close and his body heat was actually making me warm. Then he closed the distance between us and put his lips on mine. We kissed. We actually kissed. And it felt amazing. His lips on mine felt heavenly and it made me feel warm. I didn't even know it myself how much I had wanted to kiss him until I was actually doing it. How much I had actually missed his lips. Then the kissed started to intensify a bit as his hands went up towards my wet hair. I moved mine down his back and tried to push him closer to me. I think I might've been wetting him down. But one thing for sure was that I was now warm. Then we let each other go and I couldn't help smiling. His kiss had been amazing, our kiss had been amazing.

"Amy" He said.

"I know" I said but actually I didn't. I didn't know anything right now but that was okay.

"I've wanted to do that again for a while now" He admitted shyly. "I hoped it was okay"

"More than okay" I said and grinned.

"I should let you get dressed" He said and started to walk towards the stairs to give me some privacy.

"Please don't go" I said before thinking. But it was true I didn't want him to go but maybe asking him to stay was right either.

"You don't want me to go?" He asked surprised.

"No" I said "Nothing you haven't seen before" I pointed out and we both knew that it was true.

"I'll go and watch some TV" He said and took a seat in the sofa and pushed the on button on the remote as I started to take my clothes off standing behind the sofa. I was really soaking wet. His clothes weren't that big just a little and that made me feel a little glad knowing that I was that big yet. I walked over and took a seat next to Ricky on the couch.

"Better?" He asked me.

"I think so" I said "My clothes aren't wet anymore"

"That's true" He said.

"Thank you Ricky" I said and looked into his eyes.

"For what?" He asked me and.

"Everything" I said and meant it "For not letting me do all this on my own and for letting me stay here now"

"Anytime" He said and took my hand. "You can always count on me"

"I know" I said and squeezed his hand. He leaned in and kissed me again and I let him. The feeling of our lips meeting was magical and I never wanted it to end. The kiss gave me chills and after awhile we had to break out of it.

"So what are we watching?" I asked referring to the TV and then leaned against his shoulder.

"Some comedy" He said and put his arm around me.

"Love those" I said and gave away a small chuckle.

"Good" He said. "Are you still freezing?" He asked me.

"I'm okay" I said but I was still a little cold and I think Ricky noticed it so he took a quilt that was laying on the armrest and then put it over the two of us.

It was so easy to relax on his shoulder and it didn't take long until I had forgotten all about what had happened at the _family dinner _and soon I was fast asleep on Ricky's shoulder.

*

I woke up the next morning feeling the weight of Ricky's body next to mine. It was hard to tell since I had had such a goodnight's sleep as I had had this night. I wasn't leaning on Ricky's shoulder anymore instead we were laying next to each other. Ricky had one of his hands on my back and the other I had used as a pillow. I lay there studying Ricky's body and how his breathing was so calm. Then I could see that he started to wake up as his eyes started to open little by little.

"Good morning" I said and he smiled.

"Good morning to you too" He said sleepily.

He started get up into a sitting position on the couch but I laid still.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked me.

"Very" I said "How about you?"

"Very good as well" he said.

"Good" I said and took a seat next to him on the couch.

"Want breakfast?" He asked me and got up from the couch.

"Sure" I said and started to get up as well.

"Stay" He said "Get some more sleep you need it. I'll bring it down"

"Okay" I said and thought he was such a gentle man for doing that. He walked up the stair and I could hear how he started to arrange breakfast in the kitchen. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I went to get my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls. Of course I had. My mother had tried to call me about five timed my father six and Ashley three. Ashley had also left a text message but I choose to ignore it since Ricky walked down the stairs with a tray in his hands hand and the smell of fresh coffee filled the air in the room.

He came up to the couch and put down the tray on the coffee-table and then took a seat on the couch. Before he started to do anything he said

"There's something I forgot"

"What?" I asked.

"This" he said with a smile and leaned into give me a kiss. It was a quick kiss but it still had some feeling in it.

"Well I'm glad you remembered it now" I said and smiled.

"So do you want coffee?" He asked me. I stared at him blankly wondering if he was serious "What?" He asked.

"Ricky I'm pregnant" I reminded him "I can't drink coffee. It's bad for the baby"

"Sorry" He said "Forgot about that. Can I give you something else?"

"I'll just have a sandwich" I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said "I'm not even sure I'll be able to keep the sandwich down so it'll be enough"

"Morning sickness?" He asked me and I nodded. I hadn't exactly told him about that. I guessed that he figured that since I'm pregnant I might experience some kind of morning sickness but I never bothered telling him that I occasionally did.

After we had eaten the breakfast Ricky asked me

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No" I said. "But I guess I have to talk to my parents. I'm sure they have all sorts of questions right now"

"Come on then" He said and took my hand.

*

We sat in the car outside my house. The lamp in the kitchen was lit and I could see the silhouette of my dad. I was wondering if they had gotten any sleep this night or if they had stayed up waiting for me to get home. Maybe I should've stayed last night. Maybe running away like this would only make things worse.

"Ricky before I go I want to ask you something" I said. I needed some answers regarding last night and this morning and where the two of us stood.

"Sure" He said.

"What is this?" I asked timidly. "Between you and me?" I added to make sure he knew what I meant.

"Honestly" Ricky said "I'm not sure. All I know is that trying just to be friends with you is going to be hard"

"Why?" I asked hoping that he would give me the answerer that I wanted.

"Because I don't want to be _just _friends with you" He said. "I have never been the type of guy who has had girlfriends and so. I have never had girlfriend. I guess I have been more fooling around with girls" He said. I had partly gotten the answerer that I wanted but I wasn't satisfied. Did this mean that he was just _fooling around_ with me? "But" He then added. "I can always change and for you I want to" he explained and smiled.

"So?" I asked "What does that mean?"

"It means that I have a question I wanna ask you" He said and his smile got bigger. "Amy, would you like to be my girlfriend?" Wow, did Ricky Underwood just ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend? This was big.

"Girlfriend?" I asked. Maybe it was a little too big step and it had happened rather quickly.

"You don't have to answerer me yet" He said as he noticed my hesitation in my voice. "But I want to take you somewhere tomorrow, is that okay?"

"Where?" I asked getting curious.

"You'll see" He said not wanting to give anything away. "I'll pick you up early, okay?"

"Sounds good" I said and started to get out of the car and in the process I leaned in and gave Ricky a kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow"

Then he drove off and I was left alone on the street heading up towards my house and knowing that I had to face my parents on the other side of the door. Something I dreaded. But somewhere deep inside I felt happy as well. Because Ricky Underwood had just asked me to be his girlfriend and I knew exactly what my answerer would be.

**AN: Don't forget to review!!!**


	9. Chapter eight: I hope you're ready

**Author's note:**

**Hello everyone!!!**

**So here is chapter eight in the story and hopefully you will like it. I hope I got the message right in it and that's all I can say about this chapter. **

**But I do have some good news and that is that I'm planning on writing the next chapter as soon as possible now that there's a weekend and all, so hopefully it won't take too long until I update again. **

**And like I have said before a BIG THANK YOU to those who have reviewed my story, hearing what you think about my story keeps me going and writing! So please continue with it and those who haven't reviewed it of course I would love to hear your opinions as well. **

_**(Remember that I don't owe anything)**_

**// **

**Miss-Jojjo =)**

* * *

Chapter eight: I hope you're ready

It was Sunday morning and I was waiting for Ricky to come and pick me up. I still had no idea what he wanted to do since he wouldn't tell. But it felt like it would be a good thing and I was excited. It was good that he could get me out of the house for today, he truly saved me.

My parents had talked to me basically the whole day yesterday and they were mad at me for running away to Ricky's over the night. They told me they were terrified and that they couldn't get a hold of me and had no idea where I was. But it felt nice that they knew about it all now. At least I could be myself at home and I didn't have to pretend there. I told them that I had no clue about what I wanted to do with the baby which wasn't true. The more I thought about it the more sure I was that I actually wanted to keep this baby as long as Ricky wanted to. I didn't want to force him into anything he didn't want to do. I was surprised that my mum let me go with Ricky today even though I couldn't say where we were going. I had told them that Ricky was the father and I think they still were in chock and therefore didn't realize that the baby actually had a father although that was something that they soon had to face.

I saw Ricky's car from the kitchen window and got up from my chair and yelled to my mum as I headed for the door

"Bye mum" and then I opened the door and gave Ricky a small wink and then closed the door behind me and went with rapidly steps to his car and got in.

"Hey" I said and gave him a smile.

"Hey" he said as well but sounded suspicious. "Is everything okay?" he asked wondering how things had gone yesterday after he had dropped me off.

"Yes" I said "I still think they are in chock though, and hasn't realized what it means by me being pregnant"

"Is that good or bad?" He asked and trying to read my expression.

"Not sure" I said "At least not yet. I mean things can change quickly as soon as they realize that they soon might become grandparents" Ricky laughed at this but he didn't seem to like what've just told him, I didn't know what was wrong but I chose to ignore it because I felt happy today. I didn't have to hide things from my parents anymore and Ricky and I were, I'm not sure what but I think it was something good at least?

"So where are you taking me?" I asked almost jumping up and down in my seat.

"Away" he said and then started the car and I understood that that was all that he was gonna tell me.

He drove out on the highway and away from our town. I could see croplands, leas and occasionally some woods flashing by the car window. I had not a single clue where he was taken me. Then after an hour of car ride he turned off the highway and onto a smaller road that seemed to be leading into some kind of smaller town.

"Ricky, where are we?" I asked him.

"Away" He answered me.

"What does that mean?" I asked bewildered.

"Exactly that" He said as he drove into a parking lot outside a mall.

"Okay?" I said not understanding it all.

"Come on" He said and got out of the car but I stayed in my seat. He walked around to my door and opened it.

"Amy?" He asked "Don't you trust me?" Of course I trusted him; I just didn't understand why we had to drive to another town just to go to the mall when that was something that we could do at home.

"Fine" I said and got out of the car. Ricky locked the car and then took my hand and we walked into the mall. It reminded me a lot of the mall at home, this was a bit smaller but it had a more modern twist to it.

"So?" I said as we stopped at one of the ends of the mall. "Now what?"

"That" Ricky said and pointed towards a store.

"Oh no" I said as I saw the one of the signs where it stood _maternity wear. _

"No one we'll see you here" He said "And you can't wear those big sweaters forever, they may be comfortable but I hate to admit it, they're not so becoming" He was right. I needed these clothes but I didn't have the courage to try them yet.

"I don't know" I said hesitatingly.

"Please" he said "I won't make you wear them to school or anything unless you don't want to"

"Okay" I said regretting it before I had said it.

"That's my girl" he said and we headed into the store. But it wasn't entirely true, I wasn't his girl yet.

"Can I help you?" A nice looking lady asked us as soon as we had stepped in.

"I think we're just gonna look" Ricky said.

"Okay" The nice looking lady said "If you want any help all you have to do is ask" Then she walked away. I wondered if she was used to have fifteen year old customers. There was no way to tell she was acting very professional.

"Let's look over here" Ricky said and headed for the section that said _three months._

*

"Are you done yet?" Ricky asked me as I stood in a changing room putting on a pair of pants and a sweater. They were a lot more comfortable than I thought they would be since they were actually supposed to fit my figure. I looked at myself in the mirror. And there it was my belly. It wasn't too obvious that I was pregnant but you could see it. I couldn't help but to wonder how I might look in a month or two or what about six months from now. Although, the clothes looked good, they were simple just the normal thing I would wear except that they were made so a pregnant woman could use them.

"I'm done" I said and came out. Ricky went quiet as he saw me.

"Is it that bad?" I asked him worried.

"No" He said "It's just that this is the first time that I can actually see that you are pregnant" I knew this wasn't a good idea.

"I'm gonna go and change and then we can go home. I'm sorry…" I said and turned around and was on my way into the changing room.

"No" Ricky said "I like it. I like the clothes"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, you look beautiful" he said and then leaned in to give me a kiss on my mouth. I kissed him back and it made me feel warm.

"This feels weird" I said and examined myself in the mirror yet again. "I have known that I have been pregnant and so but I was beginning to get used not seeing it right in front of me and wearing this, it just makes it all a lot more real"

"I understand" Ricky said "I mean this is the first time I truly understand that you are pregnant"

"Because you got the proof right in front of you" I mumbled.

"Exactly" He said.

"Is that bad?" I asked him worried. I was afraid that this might be too much for him. I was afraid this might be too much for me.

"I don't think so" He said. "Do you?"

"No" I said and turned around to face him. "I'm not used to it that's all"

"Do you think you ever will?" He asked me. "To this, having a baby and all"

"I'm not sure" I said honestly "But I'm gonna do my best" I put my hands on my stomach. I knew I had no other choice than to try.

"I guess that's all we can do" He said and walked to stand behind me so he could see our reflections in the mirror. "Our best"

"Yeah" I said happy and sad at the same time. I looked at our reflection. It felt so strange to see Ricky and me and then me being pregnant. This wasn't how I had thought my life would turn out. Having a baby at the age of fifteen, I don't think anyone would have thought that this is how my life would turn out. My life has changed forever and there's no way back.

"But you like the clothes?" I asked Ricky after we had stood there for a moment trying to break the silence.

"Yes" He said "Love them" and then gave me a smile.

"I guess I should buy them then" I said uncertain. I wasn't too sure though if I was ready to wear them. But I guess that Ricky would understand that.

"Okay" He said "Then I have some other place I want to take you"

"I'm just gonna go and change back to my old clothes" I said and went into the changing room. Once I had closed the door I took a deep breath and then started to take off the pants.

*

We stepped out of the store and I had my new clothes in a bag in my hand. I had no idea what Ricky had planned next buying toys, who knows? He had taken my hand as soon as we had paid and now I just walked wherever he walked.

"So what's next?" I asked him looking around as we walked through the mall. He ignored my question and instead asked me

"Hungry?"

"A little" I said lying. The truth was that I was starving.

"Good" Ricky said "It's time to eat" We walked into this little pizza place at the end of the mall. It was quiet and cozy. We took a table at the far end to get as much privacy as we could.

"What are you in mood for?" Ricky asked me "It's all on me"

"Hmm" I began as I read the menu with a small smile. He was being so nice to me today, really showing me that he was there for me and I needed that. It was hard to decide what I wanted to eat, it was too much to choose from and I was afraid that I might choose the wrong thing in Rikcy's eyes. "Why don't you choose" I said

"Okay" He said "Don't blame me if I get it wrong"

"I won't" I said and chuckled quietly. The waitress came and took the order from Ricky and then came to bring us our drinks.

"So this is what you had planned for me?" I asked him. "Take me to the mall and this"

"Disappointed?" He asked and seemed kind of bummed as I had asked him that. I guess I didn't realize how much effort he had put into this.

"Not at all" I said quickly "I just didn't know what to expect. And this was defiantly not in my imagination"

"No?"

"No" I said. "It's like you're showing me this whole other side of you that I didn't know existed"

"What side?" He asked unsure.

"All I know is that you're not the guy I thought you were at the beginning of this semester" I looked down at the table and thought back at how used I had felt coming back from band camp. I felt kind of bad thinking of it and I knew that it was wrong to Ricky to bringing it up; I mean he had obviously proven to me that he had changed.

"I guess you have changed me" Ricky said and took my hand.

"Me?" I asked him warily.

"Yes" Ricky admitted. "You make me wanna be different and when I'm with you I feel different"

I still hadn't given him an answerer to his question about me being his girlfriend and I was just about to say what I wanted as the food came in and interrupted us. We started to eat and I didn't feel like it was the right time to tell him. I wanted it to be more personal or something. Maybe the problem was that I had lost the courage to tell him. Which in a way was weird because I'm pretty sure that he would want to hear what I have to say to him, right? But it would have to wait.

*

We walked towards Ricky's car so we could go home and once again we walked hand in hand. It felt freeing walking together with Ricky on a parking lot knowing that we wouldn't have to worry about a single person that we knew might see us. We were far from home and no one form school would be here.

"Amy, Ricky" I knew that voice and I sighed. "Hi" the voice said from behind us and I guess we weren't as alone here as we thought. Ricky looked at me and then we both turned around and I let go of Ricky's hand quickly.

"Grace" I said and faked a smile. It wasn't that I didn't like her. I mean, I didn't exactly know her. It's just that I didn't expect to run into her here. No one from school were supposed to hang out here. That's the whole reason why Ricky had driven for over an hour just to get here.

"What are you doing here?" Ricky asked her. But I don't think it bothered Ricky as much as it did to me that we had run into her.

"They were low on people who could help the kids at the church over here with their homework so I volunteered to help out" She said with a big smile. "What about you?" she then asked.

"We're…" I tried but I didn't know what to say.

"Amy needed a ride to pick up her new instrument for school" Ricky lied. "And I was the only one available in the class with a car who could drive her today" Thank god, Ricky was a quick liar.

"Okay" Grace said. "Well, it was nice to meet you. But I gotta go. I'm suppose to pick pizza for the kids and I don't want it to get cold"

"Of course" I said and smiled.

"See you in school" Ricky said and we both started to walk away.

"Hey, Amy" I heard Grace say and I turned around. "I heard about the rumors and I'm sorry. I don't believe in any of them. I just wanted you to know that" My heart dropped. She was being so nice and I had no other choice than to lie to her.

"Thank you" I said. "I guess you shouldn't believe in all that you hear" I tried to ignore Ricky. I knew that this wasn't only about me anymore. It affected him almost as much. I ignored him on the way back to the car and I guess I had made it pretty clear for him that I wasn't interested in talking about it, at least not today.

*

We sat once again in Ricky's car outside my house. This was beginning to feel like a common place for the two of us.

"Thank you for today" I said "It meant a lot and I needed this" It was true, this day had given me some new insights on things and I had realized that Ricky would actually be there for me, although I knew that before as well, but now I was more certain of it now.

"It meant a lot to me too" Ricky said.

"I know"

"Amy" Ricky said genuinely "The reason why I wanted to take to do some shopping and why we went so far away was because I wanted us to be able to do it in peace. I wanted you to feel how it would be not having to worry about others for some time" I felt a tear slipping down my cheek. But this was a different tear than the ones I had been crying lately; this was a tear of joy. What Ricky just had told me and what all he had done today actually had meant just made me realize how much I actually wanted him. And I was glad that I hadn't given him the answerer to his question over lunch. I was glad that I had waited because this moment was the perfect moment.

"Ricky" I said and looked over at him. "I have been thinking" I gave him a big smile.

"Good thinking?" He asked me but I was sure he knew what I meant.

"Yes" I said and couldn't stop smiling. "My answerer is yes"

"Yes to what?" He asked me.

"Oh, shut up" I said "You know what I mean" I leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. I gave all I had into the kiss and so did he. It felt like there were flying sparks all over the car and as his lips touched mine everything seemed perfect and I knew that as long as I got Ricky everything would be okay. I moved my hands higher up and they began playing with his hair. Ricky's hands started to go lower and lower and then he wrapped them around my waist pulling me closer to his body. Then we both slowed down a little and then we let go of each other.

"Wow" Ricky said "That was…" He was right that kissed had been intense and absolutely wonderful.

"I like you Ricky" I said keeping the smile on my mouth "And I would love to be your girlfriend" Although, we had acted like a couple all day, but who cares. This would mean that it was out in the open.

"So you like me?" Ricky asked.

"Yep" I said.

"Good" He said and returned my smile "I like you too and I would be a lucky guy if you would want to be my girlfriend"

"Then I guess you're a lucky guy" I said and gave him a quick kiss on his mouth, before I started to get out of the car.

"Wait" Ricky said and grabbed my hand. "Do you have to go so soon?" He asked me.

"I guess not" I said and got into the car again and closed the door behind me. I hated to say goodbye to him so I wouldn't mind some more alone time with since he was boyfriend and the father of the baby that I was caring.

* * *

**_AN:_**

**Hoped you enjoyed your reading and REMEMBER TO REVIEW….**


	10. Chapter nine: It's so tiny

**Author's note!!!**

**Hello!! **

**Here comes chapter nine and I hope you like it. **

**I also wanted to say another thank you to those who have reviewed and I want to say that I hope that you continue doing that and that if you haven't, please do. **

**// Miss-Jojjo**

_**(Remember that I don't owe anything, it's all a fanfiction)**_

Chapter nine: It's so tiny

My life has changed, big time. More than I could possible imagine. I don't know if it is a good change or a bad change, come to think of it it's more than one change, it is many changes. I can't help but to wonder what my life would look like if I wouldn't have gone to band camp and I wouldn't have met him. Ricky Underwood the man of my dreams, or at least my boyfriend for about 24 hours. So maybe I shouldn't exaggerate it. But I can't help but to miss him, just a little. Although I have to say that the hour I spent with him in his car yesterday was pretty good. Not that anything seriously happened; we have decided to take things slow and I am already caring his baby. Yes, I am about three and a half month pregnant and today I have a doctor's appointment. Ricky is suppose to take me and I'm glad that he is willing to do that. Ricky has known that I am pregnant for like a month. My best friends have known about it for like a month as well. I had also admitted it to my ex-boyfriend after someone had started a rumor saying that I was pregnant or that I had an eating disorder, people really needed to get a life and start to let me live mine. Then there is my sister Ashley who has known the longest and I told parents about it like four days ago. They didn't get too happy about it. I mean how could they? Their fifteen year old daughter is having a baby. So you can talk about changes in my life and in six months I am going to have another big change in my life when I am having the baby. I haven't exactly decided yet if that's what I am going to do, but it feels like the best thing to do.

So like I said, my life has changed. I lied awake this night thinking about Ricky and how his life has changed. I wondered if he was thinking of me too or if he was fast asleep in his bed and maybe instead of thinking maybe he was dreaming of me and the baby. I think he could be a good father and I think I could be a good mother even though were not that old. But I do believe that we could be good parents, no I believe that we can be great parents. The biggest question is if we are ready.

*

I saw his eyes in front of me, God those beautiful eyes. That deep brown color that just made you believe that you were able to see into his soul. I'm pretty sure that Ricky Underwood's soul would be an amazing soul. Because he has proven to me that he is an amazing guy. His eyes are one of the things that I adored about him. Another is his hair. That messy hair that you just wanted to put your hands in and start to play with. Then it was his lips. God, could a person have so lovely and kissable lips. Apparently someone could, I had the proof. I wanted to see into his eyes and I wanted to play with his hair but most of all I wanted to kiss his lips. Feeling the sensation of his soft lips on mine, feeling….

"Amy" Madison said but nothing worked "Amy, snap out of it" I gave a jump and noticed that Madison and Lauren were about to take a seat at my table.

"Sorry" I said feeling a little embarrassed over myself. I can't believe that I was sitting here in the middle of school having those thoughts about Ricky. No I could believe that I had those thoughts since it was Ricky we were talking about. But still it was kind of embarrassing.

I looked around trying to find him in the crowd of people that were having lunch in the beautiful weather. After the rain that had poured down this weekend it seemed like people wanted to get the most out of the sunshine that they could. I looked around at the red tables that was placed around the school yard and at the people having their lunch. People going about their life like usual and after this they would just continue to class and then maybe go to some after school activity and then go home. People who didn't have to worry about getting in time to an ultra sound so they could know that their baby is doing okay and who didn't have to worry that they are about to become parents in six months.

"So what did you guys do this weekend?" I asked and ignored the rest of the world for a few seconds and trying to get out Ricky of my head which seemed impossible.

"Nothing" Madison said. "We have boring a life" she stated and Lauren agreed with her.

"We should do something interesting sometime" Lauren said and shook her head and looked at me "what did you do, Amy?"

"I told them" I admitted slowly but had a smile on my face. Before I had been kind of nervous talking about this at school but now I had realized that no one cared enough to listen in to our conversation so I think it was safe to talk about it.

"Wait what?" Madison asked.

"My parents" I said.

"How did they take it?" Lauren asked me.

"Well, I only got to see their immediate reaction since I kind of had to get out of there" I admitted.

"Where did you go?" Madison asked me.

"Ricky's" I said and the smile on my face got bigger. I loved to say his name.

"Ricky's?" Madison said questioning.

"Yeah, I sorted of stayed the night there. Since I didn't want to go home to my parents" I explained. I could see that both Madison and Lauren were surprised at hearing this, but it was after all the truth.

"What were you thinking, Amy?" Lauren asked.

"Good question" Madison joined in. "What were you thinking?"

"Look" I began, not that I need to explain myself to them or anything. But I had kind of brought it up. "Nothing happened. I just slept there and then he took me home"

"So that's it?" Madison asked. "Nothing more?"

"Well" I said and looked down at my food.

"There's more?" Lauren asked.

"We sort of met again yesterday and went on a little car trip to some mall where I bought some maternity clothes" I smiled telling them this, knowing that that day would be a memory I would always have with me.

"How nice of him" Madison said and I could hear the jealousy in her voice.

"My life is so not _interesting" _Lauren said and put her head in her hands.

"Be happy for that" I said and we both laughed even though we knew it wasn't funny.

"At least he's there for you" Madison pointed out "That must feel good?"

"It does" I said quietly and began thinking of Ricky again wondering if he in this instant was thinking of me too. I hoped so.

"It sounds like he treats you like he is your boyfriend" Madison mumbled.

"He is" I said "He's my boyfriend" I swear to god that I could see their jaws drop to the ground as I said so.

"He's your boyfriend?" Lauren asked.

"Yes" I said and nodded. "He's my boyfriend. Ricky Underwood is my boyfriend"

"Lucky you" Madison said and I completely ignored the sarcasm I could hear in her voice.

"Lucky me" I said and knew that it was the truth. I was lucky having a guy like Ricky caring for me, caring for us.

*

"Are you ready to go?" Ricky asked me as I stepped into his car.

"I think so" I said feeling a little unsure. We were about to go to our second doctor appointment and I have to admit that I was beginning to get nervous, which was only natural. I had thought about asking my mum to come with me but I figured that it might be a little too soon after I had told her. I should probably give her at least a week before I ask her to come with me to a thing like this.

"It is okay to be nervous, Amy" Ricky told me in an attempt to calm me down.

"I know" I said and took a deep and audible breath. "That goes for you too" I added and looked at Ricky.

"I know" He answered me repeating what I had said and therefore we both laughed a little.

"It's gonna go just fine" I said trying to convince the both of us.

"Yeah, I'm sure it will" Ricky said and drove into to the parking lot outside the hospital and then parked the car.

"Here we are" I said and looked out the window.

"Yes" Ricky said "Here we are" He reached for my hand and I let him take it.

"Let's go" I said before I got more nervous and then we headed out of the car and walked towards the entrance.

Inside we walked up to the desk and I looked around the waiting room that I had been in once before, also with Ricky. I looked at the uncomfortable chairs and there were still a bunch of screaming kids playing around. Sitting by the wall on a row were four pregnant women. They didn't look like there were teenagers; they looked like they were in the right age to become a mother. I could feel that people stared at me and Ricky as we went to take the only two available seats in the room under the window right bedside the toys where the screaming kids were playing and crying.

"Remember to breath" Ricky said as we sat waiting.

"I am breathing" I said but wasn't too certain about it. My heart was beating faster and faster and my legs were shaking slightly.

"Just try to relax" Ricky tried and then reached for my hands and wrapped them in his trying to calm me down. "I'm sure we will be in soon"

And just as he said that there was a nurse calling my name at the end of the room. I got up from the chair and I felt Ricky walking right behind me.

"Down this hall and the last door to your left and Dr. Anderson will be with you any minute" She said with a big smile.

"Thank you" Ricky said and then we walked down the hall and into the room. I was way too nervous to say anything so I just took a seat and Ricky came right behind me.

The door opened up and Dr. Anderson came in and took a seat at her desk.

"Hey Amy" She said. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine" I said "And a little nervous" I admitted.

"There's no need to be nervous, but I can understand it" She said. There's something special about doctors they have this weird influence on you and they can either make you more nervous or they can make you feel calmer. Luckily, Dr. Anderson was the type who made me feel calmer, like I was in the right hands.

"So before we begin with the ultra sound I just thought I should hear how everything is going" She said and looked at me "So how is it going?"

"I told my parents" I said to her "Like you thought I should do. They didn't get too happy about it, but I think they'll be okay"

"So any morning sickness?" She asked and started to fill out my journal.

"Some" I said. "But not as much as before"

"Well, that's normal" She said "The morning sickness usually fade out and eventually stop"

"Good" I said. It was good news to hear that I wouldn't have to have morning sickness through the whole pregnancy.

"No pain or anything?" She asked me.

"No, nothing"

"Okay. That is good. We will found out more about the baby once we do the ultra sound"

"Yes, the ultra sound" I said feeling more nervous. It would mean that I would have the chance to see the baby on the screen. It would mean that I would be able to see the baby for the first time and find out if it was fine there inside my stomach.

"It's nothing to worry about. The ultra sound is a normal procedure and it can't harm the baby" the doctor said and I knew that. It wasn't the ultra sound itself that was scary it was what the ultra sound would show. "Anything else you want to ask about before, something you are wondering about?" I thought hard.

"No" I said "Not that I can come to think of" I looked at Ricky wondering if he wanted to ask something. He looked more nervous now. He was biting the nails on one of his finger and from the look in his eyes I could see that he was nervous as well.

"Then let's move over here" Dr. Anderson said and we walked over to the ultra sound. "You can lie down here" She showed me a small and hard bed. "And Ricky you can take that chair over there and drag it closer" Ricky did as he was told. And once he had taken a seat he grabbed my hand and I could feel that he was shaking a bit and so was I.

"Now I want you to take deep breaths" Dr. Anderson began in a composed voice. "This might be a little cold but it won't hurt" She grabbed a bottle of gel and I pulled up my sweater so she could put it on my stomach. She was right, it was cold and it was also very sticky. I took Ricky's hand again and looked over at him.

"I'll be here all the time" He promised me.

"Okay" I said with a sigh.

"So I'm going to use this" Dr. Anderson said and showed me some weird instrument that looked like a grey remote. It was connected to the screen with a cord. "And if you want you can look at the screen and I will tell you what it is you can see"

"Okay" I said. She put the remote on my stomach and started to move it around. I thought it was going to hurt but it didn't. I looked over at the screen but I couldn't tell what it was. It was all too blurry in shades of white and black but somehow it all looked grey. Then she stopped on the lower part of my stomach and started to tap on a key that also was connected to the screen.

"Here it is" she said and pointed at the screen. "There's your baby Amy" I looked at the screen and first I couldn't see anything than as I looked where she was pointing I could see it, my baby. It was very small and tiny but you could see that there was something that was familiar to the shape of a small human being. My body heated up and I hardened the grip of Ricky's hand and I could feel that he was doing the same. I wanted to cry as I saw the screen. There it was so real and so amazing. It was hard to believe that I was actually caring it, right in this second I had a baby growing inside of me.

"That's our baby?" I asked her and she nodded and then I dared to look over at Ricky and seeing his expression was like a milder shock. It looked like he as well was about to cry.

"Yes" Dr. Anderson said "And it's doing just fine. It's healthy and its heart beat is normal"

"It's so small" Ricky said and as he said so I let a tear escape my eye. He was right, it was so small.

"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" Dr. Anderson asked us. Both Ricky and I looked at each other.

"Can you tell that so soon?" I asked. This wasn't something I had been expecting. I mean of course it had to be a boy or a girl but I had always thought of it as a just a baby, never had I thought that the baby would have a sex or that it would be so small.

"Yes, we can tell this soon" Dr. Anderson said answering my question.

"Do you want to know?" I asked Ricky and looked over at him.

"If you want to" he said with a small smile.

"I never thought of the fact that it would have a sex" I admitted slowly. "But I think I would like to know" Ricky smiled.

"Then we want to know" he said to Dr. Anderson.

"Congratulations to you two" She began "It looks like you are about to have a son"

"You mean it's a boy" Ricky said and his face shined up slightly.

"Yes, it's a boy" She said. Wow, I was having a boy. Ricky and I were having a boy.

"I can't believe it" Ricky said "Were gonna have a son" He smiled and gave me a kiss on the mouth. I was grateful that he was taking all this so well and wasn't scared of it. I'm so glad that I had him.

"If you want I can give you a picture of the ultra sound" She offered.

"We can have a picture of it?" I asked "Of him, I mean" I felt happy inside. I could have a picture of my son.

"That can be arranged" Dr. Anderson said happily.

*

In the car ride home all I did was sit and stare at the little photo from the ultra sound. It was an extraordinary feeling I got from looking at it. It was like something inside of me finally realized how much this baby meant to me.

"So we have arrived yet again" Ricky said as he pulled over outside my house. I put the picture in the pocket of my jacket.

"Thank you for coming with me today" I said to Ricky not wanting to step out of the car. "You know it meant a lot"

"I know" He said "And thank you for letting me come"

"Anytime" I said. "I'll see you in school" I gave him a kiss on the mouth and he kissed me back. It wasn't a long one, I figured I was gonna leave him wanting more. I got out of the car and walked towards my house with a smile on my lips. I was going to be a mother. I knew that now. There was no other option. I had started to like this baby too much to let it go, I think I even loved it. And I knew that I was ready and I knew that Ricky was as well. There might be people out there who's gonna doubt my ability to be a mother, our ability to be parents. But I knew that I was going to be a great mother and that Ricky and I was going to be great parents to this child, to our boy. And I was ready to let the world know that. I was ready to show the world what an amazing thing I was caring. I was ready to let everybody know that I was about to become a mother and that nothing was going to stop me. I was so ready.

**AN: ****Remember to review!!! =)**


	11. Chapter ten: This is it!

**AN: Okay, so I will begin with apologizing for the fact that I haven't been updating in ages. I'm so sorry. I promise that I won't let go of this story until I'm finished with it but it might take some more time than I thought in the beginning so I hope you all can be patient with me. I know what I want this story to lead and I think I owe it to myself to get there. **

**Please review and tell me what you think about it so far and I will promise that I will do my best in the future. **

**Enjoy the reading **

**Miss-Jojjo**

Chapter ten: Mind your own business

Today is the day my life will change forever, I just know it. Today is the day that I will stop hiding. Lately my life has just spun out of control in good and bad ways and I'm afraid that it might spin just a little more today. I know that today will be a day that I won't be able to take and hopefully I'm not gonna want to either. Today is the day when I'm gonna let the real me show.

*

It felt like it was the first day of school all over again. I was standing outside the door taking deep breaths and telling myself that I could do this. The only difference was that this time I didn't want to avoid Ricky. This time I wanted him right next to me, knowing that he would make me feel safe.

Maybe this would all go extremely well, maybe I was more afraid than I should be. Maybe at the end of this day I could laugh at how nervous I was right now. Unfortunately I didn't think that would happen. It felt like my heart was beating so loud that the whole country should be able to hear it. My hands were starting to sweat and I knew that I had to do this before it got toolate and I would change my mind and turn around.

I could hear the voices of my classmates on the other side of the door. Some laughed and some just talked before the school day would start. It wasn't as though I could just ignore everything, there was after all a rumor going around so people were already making assumptions about my pregnancy. And soon enough a bigger sweater wasn't gonna hide away the truth. My belly was already bigger than normal and that was noticeable. I knew that I had to do this and no backing out! I owed this to me and to Ricky and also to our son. I won't be ashamed of him.

I opened the door and stepped into the crowded hallway and started to walk while looking down into the floor so I wouldn't have to see peoples' faces and their reactions. My heart rate was speeding up and soon become unnatural. I kept taking deep breaths to keep myself under control. I was afraid that I might just run out of here. It didn't take long until I could feel peoples' stares right on me. They were piercing right through my body. I guess that the clothes that I had bought together with Ricky was revealing much more than I had imagined. I walked quickly towards my locker trying to ignore the stares; though it seemed impossible.

I heard steps form behind me that soon stopped and I felt that someone was staring me right in the back. I ignored it and started to grab the books I needed for class. But the person that was standing behind me didn't go away.

"So much for being delusional" The person standing behind me said. I could tell right away that it was Adrian. _Crap_, I thought to myself. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? I felt my legs were starting to tremble and I didn't know what to say back so instead I just continued looking into my locker.

"Great!" Adrian began sounding a little irritated. "You're ignoring me as well"

"She has every right to ignore you" I heard a voice saying from behind. I recognized the voice at once, but it was the wrong voice. I froze as I heard the voice. What the hell was he doing? Was he trying to protect me?

"Oh well look" Adrian said and this time I didn't have a choice but to turn around. It was like my body was being forced to finally face all this. "Isn't the father himself" Adrian sounded so satisfied at all this but there was nothing I could do. I just stood there frozen and I couldn't move nor talk.

"I think that this is none of your business" Ben said straight to Adrian's face and I could see that she got surprise that he was standing up for me this way. But for all that she knew he was the real father. No one in here knew that Ricky was the real dad to this baby. What if he would chicken out? What if he would lie and then I would be left alone. _Oh god, _I was really beginning to freak out.

"Amy?!" I could hear two voices behind me, Madison and Lauren. They both walked over to stand on each of my sides, to show that they protect me.

"What's going on here?" Madison asked looking at Adrian.

"Did you know that your friend is pregnant?" Adrian asked them both and I could tell that they got nervous by her question not knowing what to answerer. It went quiet and I looked around to see that people had stopped around us to see what all the fuss was about. When I saw all the faces it made me feel a little claustrophobic. I wanted to runaway. Take all my stuff and never go back. But I couldn't and deep down I knew that.

"I'm gonna take that as yes" Adrian said "But after all it has been obvious for a while. All I wonder is what this sudden change was to decide to start wearing these clothes?" Adrian looked at me and inspecting my clothes at the same time. "Don't get me wrong they are lovely"

I could hear that people was starting to talk around me. Some were even pointing, that they had the nerve. But I shouldn't say anything. I would probably have done the same thing. First when it's you standing up there you really know what it feels like? Other's could only imagine and be happy that it's not them. Sometimes I could give almost anything to be anyone of those.

"I think it's time for you to leave" Ben said.

"The father finally speaks" Adrian said and looked at Ben. "Tell me, how does it feel to become a father at sixteen?" she asked him. Madison and Lauren looked at me knowing that Ben was the father and I just shook my head to tell them that I had no idea what he was doing. But I must say that I was grateful for him trying to stand up for me, it made me somewhat calmer.

"Why are you doing this?" Lauren asked Adrian "It's not like this affects you" She was right. This didn't affect Adrian so she should just go and leave me alone.

"Well, you see…" Adrian began. "We all have to go to this school together for four years and I don't think it's fair to lie to each other so therefore I want the truth to be out" Like everybody told the truth around here?

"Maybe this isn't your truth to tell" Ben said earnest.

"He's right, this isn't your truth to tell" I heard a familiar voice saying from the crowd.

"Ricky" I mumbled under my breath and smiled a small smile. I heard him walking towards us his steps making the most comfortable voice in the history. He wasn't going to leave me alone. I guess that somewhere deep down I had knew that but I was just afraid that maybe he had changed his mind.

"What are you doing here?" Adrian asked Ricky and the surprise of seeing him here was in all of her face.

"Telling the truth that you so bad wants to hear" He admitted without any hesitation. I looked at Ben and I could see that he was beginning to put the pieces together and that he understood that Ricky was the father. It looked like he as almost sad at this. I guess that the reality was finally catching up with him as well.

Ricky took my hand and then looked over at Adrian who seemed like she didn't like the fact that Ricky was now holding my hand. His hand was so warm and comforting and he made a reassuring squeeze and it felt so right.

"The truth is this" Ricky began and looked around. "Amy is pregnant and I think that we are all aware of that now. But what you've got wrong is this" Ricky stopped for a moment and looked over at Ben who seemed so overwhelmed by the idea of Ricky and me that he didn't dare to look Ricky in the eyes. "Ben isn't the father I am" he shrugged his shoulder as he said this. "So before you go and tell the world the truth be sure you've got all the details right"

"You're gonna be a dad?" Adrian asked trying to hide the hurt in her voice but it was too obvious that it was there.

"Yes I am" Ricky said like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Amy and I are having a boy"

"It's a boy?" Madison asked with a smile at us.

"It's a boy" I said for the first time and put my hands on my stomach and patted it. Ricky and I were having a boy and the whole world knew about it. There was nothing I could do to hide this anymore and I was grateful for that. But I knew that this could all have gone a lot smother if it wasn't for Adrian.

"If you'll excuse me" Ricky said to Adrian "I'm gonna take my girlfriend to class and you're kind of blocking the way"

*

"Are you okay?" Ricky asked as we had walked away from all the madness. I thought about his question for awhile _Was I okay? _I think I was okay. I mean people were gonna talk about this for ages and there was no way that I could take it back. But on the other hand the truth was out there and though I had been frightened and I have tried to run from this for a long time it felt nice not to hide it anymore. It also felt reassuring knowing that Ricky didn't run from this as well. We were in this together and everybody knew it, especially Adrian, besides Ricky had been kind of _sexy_ when he came to face everyone like that. When I felt that he had come to my side it was like all my worries just disappeared, in an instant. I really liked Ricky more than I could possibly imagined and right now I regretted nothing that has ever happened between us. Because it had all led up to this.

"I'm fine" I said and looked into his eyes. I could see that he was worried about me, about both of us. "Thank you" I said.

"Anytime" he answered and reached down to kiss me. Right there in the hallway with everybody watching. I guess we weren't going to hide anything anymore. I felt his lips crush mine and I wanted to get out of there, away from everyone and everything so I could be alone with Ricky. I think he wanted the same thing, I could feel it in the way he kissed me. He knew that he had to hold back since we weren't exactly alone and soon enough he broke away from the kiss and I knew that he didn't want to do so.

"So are you doing anything after school today?" Ricky asked sounding a little bit smug but I liked it.

"That depends on" I said and moved my hands up and around his neck.

"On what?" Ricky asked.

"You" I said with a smile.

"Me?" Ricky said and leaned in to give me a gentle kiss.

"Yes" I said firmly.

"In that case I guess you're not free after all"  
"That's too bad"

"Not really" I laughed knowing that I agreed with him completely.

"If you want, my mum is going to be away this afternoon you could come with me?" I said inviting him home hoping that he would say yes. I knew that I wanted some alone time with him and his car wouldn't do.

"Well that sounds great" Ricky said.

"Oh but" I said interrupting him.

"What now?"

"Big history test tomorrow" I hadn't even began to study for it but it didn't feel so appealing trying to learn more about the World War II but it didn't seem as if I had a choice. School didn't go away, even if you're pregnant.

"I'll help you study" Ricky offered and I didn't have to think twice about it.

"It's a deal" I said just in time for the bell to ring and announce that the school day had just begun.

"See you later" Ricky said and gave me one last kiss and then walked to class leaving me there in the hallway and I missed him the second I saw him walking around the corner.

I turned around and walked over to Madison and Lauren and it was time to face the rest if this day as well. But at least I had an afternoon together with Ricky to look forward to.

*

The day went by slowly. I spent my lunch together with Lauren and Madison with no sign of Ricky since he had class that time. All the day I had to face looks from my classmates and hear people talking behind my back. By the time the school day was over everybody knew including all the teachers. I was pretty sure that I was the hottest topic going around this school today and it was probably going to take some time before people would stop talking unless something much more interesting came along, which I doubted. At least people knew who I was now, that was some improvement but I wasn't sure that I wanted it. I just whished that I could go through all of this without having to know that everybody has their own opinion about stuff and felt like they had the right to talk about it. But I wasn't going to care, it's only high school after all and it's not your entire life.

Ricky was waiting for me in his car on the school parking lot and when I saw his face my whole body started to relax. I got into the car and Ricky gave me a light kiss on the lips and without saying anything he drove off knowing exactly where he was going. I closed my eyes trying got get the day out of my hand. I put my hands on my stomach feeling the small bulge under my sweater right where it belonged.

Ricky parked outside my house and I saw that my mum's car was gone so it was nothing to be afraid of. I got out of the car and looked over at Ricky who seemed a little nervous which I found extremely cute. It was just my house after all.

"Come on" I said and took his hand in mine and dragged him towards the door. I pushed the door open and walked in.

"So this is where you live?" Ricky said as he saw the inside of the house.

"Yep, this is my place" I said and took a seat at the sofa and Ricky came after.

"I guess were finally alone" Ricky said and reached over to kiss me and I let him.

"You wish" I heard a familiar voice say behind me and I knew that I had completely forgotten about Ashley.

"Sorry" I said as Ricky and I pulled away from the kiss at the same time.

"Who are you?" Ashley said towards Ricky.

"This is Ricky" I said before he could answerer.

"The Ricky?" Ashley asked and before I could answerer her question she began. "So you're the one who knocked up my sister?" It seemed like Ricky didn't know what to say at this and I didn't blame him.

"Ashley" I began.

"Amy its okay" Ricky reassured me. But he was wrong this wasn't okay. He didn't deserve to hear Ashley speaking like that to him. "That's me" Ricky said. "And you are?"

"Ashley" Ashley said. "The little sister"

"Nice to meet you" Ricky said sincerely and kindly to Ashley.

"Come on Ricky" I said and got up from the couch and looked Ashley in the eyes trying to get the hint of leaving us alone. "You haven't seen my room yet" I took his hand and led him away from Ashley and the couch.

"Be careful" Ashley said loud as we walked away. "Make sure I don't get another nephew, because I'm still too young to be an aunt"

"Ashley" I said from the bottom of the stair "Shut up"

"Whatever" She said casually and then I blocked her from my mind.

"In here" I said and motioned Ricky in my room. "I'm sorry about Ashley she's so…" But I didn't know what the right word to describe Ashley would be. She is so extraordinary which sometimes can get awfully irritating. "I don't know" I shrugged my shoulders.

"At least we are alone now" Ricky pointed out.

"At least we are alone" I repeated with a sigh, a good sigh.

I took a seat at my bed and Ricky followed after and sat right next to me. I leaned my head against his shoulder as tiredness was beginning to crawl up on me. It had been a long day and I was glad that it was soon over. I knew that I had to face school again soon but right now this was where I wanted to be. Next to Ricky; safe and without of reach for any irritating and mean classmates who should only mind their own business.

"I'm so glad that you decided to show up like this to school today" Ricky said. "I'm so glad that we don't have to keep all this a secret anymore"

"Me too" I said and looked up into his eyes "Though, I'm not so sure my parents are all keen about the idea of becoming grandparents soon" It made feel a little uneasy thinking about the fact that my mother wouldn't like me keeping the baby. But she had no choice but to let me keep it because in the end I would find a way to have my son and if that meant having to leave this home than I was prepared to do so.

"Don't worry" Ricky said. "Of course they like the idea of becoming grandparents they are just a little overwhelmed over the fact that their fifteen year old daughter is pregnant. But when they have thought about it they will feel more comfortable with the thought"

"I hope you're right" I said and gave out a big sigh.

"Let me take you mind off of all your worries" Ricky said and leaned in to kiss my lips. He was right; the kiss did make my mind think of him instead of all my worries about the future. At the same time his lips touched mine all I could thinking about was that I wanted him to be closer, so much closer. I put my hands around his neck and I could feel his hands reach over for my back. He then began kissing my neck and soon enough we were lying on the bed rather than sitting. We were both so occupied with each other that none of us noticed the person standing in the door until the person cleared its throat. And we both finally looked up…

**Don't for get to tell me what you think about it…**

**Med vänliga hälsningar **

**Miss-Jojjo**


	12. Chapter eleven: Meet The Jurgens

**Hello, this is the eleven chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it and after you have read it I would like it if you could tell me what you think about the chapter and the story so far. That would be great. **

**// Miss Jojjo**

* * *

Chapter Eleven: This is the Jurgens 

As I looked up I felt shock overwhelm me and in an instant I was off Ricky and I could feel myself flush from embarrassment. I stood up on the floor and looked my mother in the eye and than I looked over at Ricky who seemed a little surprised.

"What's going on here?" My mother asked even though it seemed kind of obvious what was going on.  
"Ricky and I were just…" But I didn't know what to say or how to explain what had just been going on between the two of us.

"So you are Ricky?" My mother asked Ricky who seemed kind of flushed as well.

"Yeah" Ricky said and stretched out his hand in a polite maneuver to my mum. I held my breath until I was sure that she was taking his back. "Nice to meet you Mrs. Jurgens"

"You too" My mother said "I've always wanted to meet the boy who got my fifteen year old daughter pregnant" I gave my mum a look trying to tell her to not be so rude against Ricky. But she didn't seem to get it. We all stood there for what seemed like an eternity and it didn't take long until it was all too awkward.

"Could I talk to you Amy?" My mum asked me. Couldn't she pick a better moment for a mother-daughter discussion? I looked over at Ricky, apologizing. My mum left the room and I followed her but I stopped in the doorway and looked back at Ricky with a wide smile and said

"I'll be back soon" He returned my smile and I felt relief coming over me. I took a deep breath and followed my mother into my parents' bedroom.

"What's going on here?" My mum asked me, wonderingly.

"What do you mean?" I asked feeling puzzled. I thought it was pretty clear to what was going on in there and that's why she wanted to talk to me?

"What is Ricky doing here?" She asked me.

"Well, he is my boyfriend and I wanted to spend some time together with him" I explained.

"Boyfriend?" She asked me. "I didn't know you were a couple?"

"Well, we are" I said "It's kind of official since today" I said with a smile.

"So he's gonna be there for you and the baby?" She asked me.

"Yeah" I answered her. I thought she already knew that? Ricky and I are going to raise this baby together, no matter what. "Of course he's gonna be there"

"I hope you're right" She said concerned. "It's not easy raising a baby and I'm guessing it's a lot harder when you're only fifteen"

"I know that" I said and looked down into the floor avoiding my mother's gaze. "But I can do it and so can Ricky."

I felt my mother's warm hand under my chin and she made me look at her. "I do not doubt that you can do this Amy" She said and took a deep breath "I just hope that you are sure, because once the baby is born there is no turning back"

"I am a hundred and ten percent sure" I said and I knew that I was, even more than a hundred and ten percent sure. I had never felt this sure about anything in my entire life.

"Good" She said and gave me a tight hug and then I came to think of something and let go of her and had a big grin on my face.

"I wanna show you something" I said and led her back into my room.

"What?" My mother asked me curious but I didn't answerer. I saw that Ricky looked unsurely over at my mother and me as we entered the room and I gave him smile. I could see that he relaxed a little where he sat on the edge of my bed. I started digging in my purse for the thing that I wanted. Once I found it I handed it to my mother.

"Wow" She said and stared down at the black and white photo from the ultrasound that showed mine and Ricky's son.

"I know" I said "It's kind of unbelievable actually" I let out with a sigh and placed my hands on my stomach and looked down at it while soothing it. "It's so weird that he is in here, being a part of me at this exact moment"

"He?" my mother asked.

"Yeah" Ricky said for the first time and walked towards us. "It's a boy"

"You're having a grandson" I said to my mother and I could see a she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm having a grandson and you're having a son" She stated happily and wiped some tears off her eyes.

"What's going on in here?" I heard a familiar voice was saying from the door.

"Dad" I said ignoring his question "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Thought I should check in on the family and make sure that everything is alright" He said and shrugged.

"Well, everything is fine, _George_" My mother said to my dad annoyingly.

"Great,_ Anne_" He said back to her in the same tone and then he noticed Ricky in the room and surveyed him while I hold my breath. "Who are you?" He asked him but before Ricky had the time to answer my mum stepped in.

"This is Ricky" My mother said, uneasily.

"Oh" My dad said and I looked at him. Could he be nicer? "I mean, hi" He then said and looked quickly away.

"Hi" Ricky said from beside me. God, this was awkward. Couldn't they just leave us alone?

"Look at this, George" My mum said and held out the picture for my dad.

"What's this?" My dad asked and took the picture out of the hands of my mum.

"That's a picture of the baby" I explained shortly, not sure that my dad would have the same reaction to it as my mum had.

"I didn't know you had gone to the doctors" My dad began angrily. "I guess you mother doesn't tell me anything" My dad looked over at my mother but before he could say something else I interrupted saying

"She just found out" I looked at my mum and than back to dad. "Ricky took me"

"Ricky" My dad said and I could hear in his voice that he didn't like it. "Well, at least he makes sure that you're healthy after what he has done to you"

"Dad" I said disapprovingly. "Don't start" I begged.

"What else can I do?" He asked me and I had nothing to say. "This guy got you pregnant, my fifteen year old daughter is pregnant because of him and I am not allowed to point it out"

"George" My mum said helping me out even though I knew that she wanted to say all this as well. "This is not the time nor the place to start talking about this" I looked over at Ricky who just stood there without saying anything, he looked extremely uncomfortable and I knew there was nothing I could do to get us out of this situation.

"I can't believe that you are defending them" My dad said in hushed tone.

"I'm not defending them" My mum said "I just don't think that this is the right time. What done is done and we need to move on and do what's best for all of us. Especially our grandson!"

"It's a boy?" My dad asked calming himself down and we all nodded our heads, including Ricky.

"Look dad," I started "I want you to know that what happened between me and Ricky during band camp was mutual,we probably should have been more careful though. But it was mutual" My dad whined and I knew that he didn't like hearing this but it needed to be said and he needed to hear it. "I don't regret it and all I can do now is try to focus on the future just like mum said. I don't want my son to grow up and think he was a mistake and that I didn't want him. Because he is wanted"

"Is he wanted of you too?" Dad asked Ricky.

"Yes" Ricky said "It's just like Amy just said. I don't want him to grow up and think that he was a mistake and feeling unwanted. We may be young but I know that we can do this" He sounded confident and my dad seemed to except what Ricky just had said.

"Okay" My dad said but I knew that he didn't mean it. "As long as you know what you are doing"

"We do, dad" I said and it was followed by another long and awkward pause.

"Now, what are you doing here, George?" My mother asked my dad as they walked out of my room but we could still here their little conversation as they walked down the stairs and into the living room to join Ashley.

"I'm sorry about that" I said to Ricky. "I had no idea that my mum would be home so soon" Which was true, I had hoped that she would be away the whole evening. She had kind of ruined the mood now.

"Don't worry" Ricky said and walked up to me and took my hand. "They are a lot better than my parents" I didn't know that to say to that. I knew that Ricky's parents hadn't been the best ones therefore the foster home and it was really hard knowing how to respond to it. Luckily, it didn't seem like Ricky wanted a response instead he just grabbed me in a tight hug and I forgot all about it.

We stood like that for some time until my dad once again emerged in the door and we both let go of each other.

"What do you want dad?" I asked him tiredly.

"Well, I was hoping that you mother would cook for me. I'm getting tired of eating can food every meal" He shook his head disapprovingly "But apparently she won't. She thinks that I'm a grown man and that if I want proper food I can cook for myself"

"Please dad, don't say that you are going to cook. Remember what happened last time?" I still shrugged at the idea of my dad's cooking. The last time he tried to cook he almost burn down the kitchen and then he made us all eat what he had cook which was unrecognizable because it was all burnt.

"Well, I'm not going to cook but I am hungry so I am taking the matters in my own hands" This scared me. "I therefore wonder what kind of pizza you guys want?" I relaxed, Pizza was okay.

"The usual" I said and he nodded and then looked over at Ricky.

"Do you want to stay for dinner; I'm guessing that there is going to be a lot of those so called family dinners so why don't we start early?" Ricky looked at me uncertainly and I nodded to show him that it was okay.

"Sure" he said "I'd be happy to. I just have to tell my foster parents that I'm gonna be home a little later then so they won't worry"

"Great, I'll order the pizzas" My dad said cheerfully and walked out of the room.

"Wow, your first dinner with the Jurgens" I said jokingly "How courageous of you"

"Is it that bad?" He asked with a nervous look on his face but I just laughed. Hopefully it wouldn't be that bad. Hopefully the worst was already over and it that case I should consider myself luckily having escaped this easily.

*

Ricky took the seat next to me by the table and I hoped that if he was closer to me than I could protect him from my family's assaults. It was very quiet by the table as everybody took a piece of pizza and my mother tried to get a conversation going so she asked us all

"How was your day?" She looked over at Ashley.

"It was good" she said and popped in piece of pizza in her mouth so she wouldn't have to say anything more.

"How was your day, Amy?" She asked me and I looked at her not knowing what to say.

"Weird" was the only explanation that I came up with but as I said so I smiled to myself.

"How come?" My mum asked. "Is everything alright?"¨

"Yes" I said. "Things turned out a lot better than I dared to hope for that's all"

"Well, that's good for you" My mum said tentatively.

"I know" I said and I thought that I should continue with the effort that my mum was doing to make sure that there was a conversation going so I asked her

"How was your day, mum?"

"It was good" My mum said and smiled.

"What did you do?" My dad asked her and she just answered shortly

"Taking care of some business, personal stuff"

"What personal stuff?" Ashley asked.

"_Personal_" My mum said and also clarified that she didn't want to discuss it anymore.

"So what are you doing when you don't have school?" My dad asked Ricky.

"Nothing, just home work and band practice" Ricky answered politely.

"So you're in the band too?" My mum asked him.

"Ricky is the drummer" I answered my mum and I could hear Ashley trying to hide a giggle under her breath and I looked over at her and asked "What?" She shook her head and said

"Nothing"

"That's why I recognized you" My dad acknowledged.

"I guess" Ricky answered.

"Well, Amy is planning on going to Julliard after she graduates, do you have any plans like that?" My mum asked Ricky and I felt myself getting hotter and red in my face. Didn't my mum understand that things had changed and that Julliard was as far away as me moving to the moon next Monday, my future has changed this fall and there's nothing I can about it.

"I don't even know if I'm going to collage" Ricky said "Collage cost money and I can't ask my foster parents for that. It wouldn't be fair" He looked a little sad. "Besides, if Amy is going to Julliard there's got to be someone who can take care of the baby while she is at school"

"I probably won't go to Julliard" I said quietly and we all knew that it was true. My future had changed, rapidly, and that included Ricky's too.

The dinner dragged on and the conversation did get better. My parents did behave and even Ashley seemed to make an effort. Once all the pizza was eaten and Ricky had thanked my parents for the food I walked him out the door to say a more _personal_ good bye.

"So that was entertaining" I said not really knowing how to describe the dinner we had just had while I closed the door behind me and then I leaned against it.

"I had a good time" Ricky said and he seemed to mean it.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Of course" He said and smiled "I had you next to me, didn't I?"

"Well, as long as you enjoyed yourself" I said. Outside the air was clear and it was chilly so I pulled my sweater tighter to my body trying to keep it warm.

"You should go in" Ricky ordered me. "We don't want you to get a cold"

"I guess not"  
"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for school" Ricky said and leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the mouth but I didn't let him go once his lips had touched mine. I put my hands around his neck and gave him a big kiss and then whispered to him feeling his breath on my face.

"I didn't get to finish what we started this afternoon" He gave me a small kiss and then walked away with a wide smile on his face.

"Good night, Amy Jurgens" He said and stepped into the car and I waved to him but I didn't walk back into the house. I stood there watching Ricky's car driving away and taking in the evening. Then when I was finally ready to get back to reality I walked back into the house just in time for saying good bye to my dad as he was just leaving.

* * *

**Remember to tell me what you think of the story so far…**

**// miss Jojjo**


	13. Chapter twelwe: It continues

**AN: **

**Hello again!! **

**First of all I would like to thank everybody who has been so kind to review my story. It really keeps me wanting to write when I hear what you have to say. So it really speeds up my work. Unfortunately I haven't been able to write anything for the last three weeks since I have been away. But I wrote down another chapter today and here it is and I hope you like it. **

**Please know that your reviews on this story mean a lot to me and they really enlighten my days when I read them. Knowing this you hopefully will continue review the story and if you haven't you may consider to do so. **

**// Miss-Jojjo**

Chapter Twelve: It Continues 

Life is a journey. You hear that a lot but I think that is the simplest way to explain life itself. Life is a journey. And this journey can be great and amazing. If you're lucky this journey can take you places that you never dreamed of going and show you what it means to be alive. And some times this journey can take you to the most unexpected places and be scary and frightening just because of the unknown. But you never have a choice to enter this journey, you're born into it and you can only live it and I should consider myself blessed knowing that I don't have to take this journey alone. But the point is that some times life sucks but like my grandmother said to me; When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. So this journey continues and you just got to make the best that you can of it and make sure that you always know how to get up, even if you hit the bottom, hard.

*

I knew that life would never be the same in school ever again. I'm always gonna be the _pregnant girl_ and I will admit that peoples stares and whispers is getting to me even though I try not to show it. I wanna be strong for me and for Ricky and for the baby. But the hardest part is Madison and Lauren they have sort of distanced themselves from me lately. I guess that this isn't easy on them either but I just don't think they understand what this situation really means to me and to be truthful I think they are a bit jealous of me and Ricky because neither of them have a boyfriend. But they are not what is important in my life, not anymore. That has now changed.

I was at band practice and I had a hard time concentrating as I kept feeling Ricky's stare from behind me. Just ignore him, I told myself. Focus on the beat, Amy. One… Two… Three… Four… One… Two…

"This isn't working!" Mr. Bradley said from upfront. "Everybody, try to concentrate" I felt myself flush a little and heard Adrian mutter form my side

"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick"

"Something you want to share with the rest of us, Miss Lee?" Mr. Bradley asked Adrian.

"No" said Adrian sounding smug.

"Good" Said Mr. Bradley "Take five and we will continue after that" Then he muttered something under his breath that no one was able to hear.

I looked around and saw Ricky sitting behind me and smiling. I went up to him and took the empty seat next to him.

"Good practice, huh?" Ricky asked with a smile.

"I wouldn't know, my mind sort of wondered" I said and looked at him intently.

"Where did it wonder?"

"Stop it" I said and looked at him seriously but it looked like he was going to crack out of laughter.

"With what?" He asked me and I could hear that he needed to make a big effort no to start to laugh.

"You kept staring at me the whole time, how was I suppose to concentrate on the music if you keep staring at my neck throughout the whole practice?" I asked him.

"I wasn't staring" Ricky said simply.

"_You _weren't staring?"

"I was looking" Ricky clarified "At your sheet music since I lost my own"

"Great" I said "No wonder then that we sound so bad since _we don't have the same sheet music_"

"There we have it" he said and smiled broadly. "That's why we're so bad"

"Could you please just keep your eyes were they are suppose to be until the end of practice?" I asked him softly and tiredly. "It's hard to concentrate as it is"

Ricky looked at me and honestly and sighed than he said with a small smile on his lips "I promise that I will try, but that's all I can do" "Whatever…" I said and looked down but I couldn't help smiling.

Mr. Bradley walked into the practice room again and he looked puzzled.

"I'm sorry that I have to tell you that we will have to end this practice here as I just got a call from the hospital telling me my dear mother fell over her vacuum cleaner and therefore broke her leg. I hope that this little disturbance won't affect you day and I will instead see you all during next practice" Mr. Bradley didn't seem to like this idea very much but he probably didn't have much of a choice. He walked out of the room and the class started cheering. I looked over at Ricky who seemed to be cheering with the rest of the class.

I bent down to take my bag from the floor which was quite heavy since I hadn't had time to leave some of my books in my locker before practice started but before I was able to reach it Ricky was there and took it.

"You don't want to carry that" Ricky said "Not since you have a much more important thing to carry"

"Who knew you were such a gentle men?" I said and took his hand.

"We all have our surprises, I guess" Ricky answered me.

*

I saw the light was on in the kitchen when Ricky and I arrived at home. We walked through the door as I yelled

"Mum, we're home" I put down my bag on the floor and walked into the kitchen where my mum was sitting by the table writing on something.

"Hey Ames" She said as I stepped into the kitchen. "And Ricky" she added as Ricky emerged in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" I asked her and took a seat by the table.

"A shopping list" She said and looked up "What are you doing home so early?" She asked looked at the two of us. "Your not skipping are you?" She asked sounding suspicious.

"Of course not" I said "Practice ended early because of Mr. Bradley's mother who had an accident"

"Oh, Good" My mum said. "Not of the accident but that you're not skipping. Are you guys' hungry?" My mum asked us. "There some leftovers in the fridge from the lunch"

"Great" I said "I'm starving"

"But you ate lunch three hours ago?" Ricky said. "How can you be starving?"

"It's not exactly my fault" I said as I took some plates out of the cabinet and then went to the fridge. "I think we all are aware of that now"

"Could you two do me a favor after you have eaten?" My mum asked looking over at both Ricky and me.

"Depends on what it is" I said as put the heated plates on the table which now filled the room with the scent of lasagna.

"I have to go to Ashley's school on a parenting meeting and it would be really nice of you if you could help me go to the grocery store and pick up some things and then maybe you can fix dinner?" My mum looked at me with a pleading look.

"You know I have homework" I said and took a big bite of food. "Besides, I don't think it's fair to Ricky having him to go and shop for our groceries"

"Don't worry Mrs. Jurgens we can do it" Ricky said "I have my car so we won't have to carry the groceries home or walk"

"Good" My mum said and got up "here's the list and I will leave some money in the hall before I leave"

I stretched out my hand to take the list from my mother and without looking at it I put it down on the table.

"Can we expect you at dinner again with us tonight, Ricky?" My mum asked him. Ricky had stayed for dinner a more than a couple of times since the first one and it felt like my parents were finally starting to accept him and the situation.

"Why not?" he said "I know Amy needs the help to cook anyway"

"Hey" I said feeling that he been a bit rude "That's not a nice thing to say"

"We all know its true Amy" My mother defended him and walked out of the kitchen. "I'm counting on the dinner to be ready in when Ashley and I get home" She said from the hall and I could hear her pulling on her coat. "I'm leaving now, Bye"

"Don't hurry home" I muttered under my breath but I knew that I would enjoy myself since I had the whole afternoon alone with Ricky.

"So you ready to go?" Ricky asked grinning.

*

Ricky pulled into the parking lot in front of the grocery store and we got out of the car.

"Why don't you go and wait inside while I'll get a trolley" Ricky said and I did so since it was cold outside. Otherwise I wouldn't have done since I don't like taking orders from people. I took the note out from my jack pocket and looked at. It wasn't gonna take too much time. We would be out of here in no time as I looked and saw the thing my mum wanted us to get.

"So where do we begin?" Ricky asked me as he looked down at the list in my hands.

"First we enter the actually store" I began as we walked through the second pair of doors.

"Don't be such a smart ass with me" Ricky said and took the note out of my hand "I think it will be faster if I handle this"

"Why is that?" I asked him looking around the store.

"Because I'm more used to shopping for food then you so I know where everything is" I guess he was right. Sometimes it just surprises me how much responsibility he actually has had to taken in his foster family. I knew he likes it there but I guess it's not like having a real family. I didn't want to think about that now so I shook my head and let the thought out.

"Okay, let's see" Ricky mumbled as he checked the list. "Let's start with the vegetables. You take the tomatoes and the cucumber and I will the handle the rest of them"

And this was how it continued throughout almost the whole shopping trip until we had almost reached the cashiers. As we walked down the last alley to collect the kitchen paper which so conveniently was placed next to the diapers we both stopped for a second to look at them.

"It's gonna be so weird when we will have to buy those" I said and inspected the diapers.

"Yeah" Said Ricky "It's so many sizes and types" He took a package from the shelf. "I mean, look at this" He then read out load from the package "This diaper is designed to fit your three months old baby. We can assure you that with this diaper you baby will sleep perfectly fine through out the whole night with a dry diaper and too top it all off it can be bought in your little ones favorite color" We looked at each other and I think we both had a very anxious expression on our faces. At least I knew Ricky had I could see it all over his face but especially in his dark brown eyes.

"How can a three months old baby have a favorite color?" I asked Ricky and he seemed just as puzzled as I was.

"I don't know" he sighed "But I'm pretty sure a baby won't care what color the diaper is when it's a sleep, as long as it doesn't wet itself"

"I'm sure you are right" I said and took the package from Ricky and put it back on the shelves, not liking the subject of diapers "Hopefully our baby won't care what color the diapers is" I then added.

"Hopefully" Ricky repeated and we moved onto the cashiers.

I paid for the groceries and then we carried them out to the car. I stepped into the passenger seat next to Ricky and we took off.

"Do you think we can manage paying for diapers?" I asked him. "It's not like any of us have a job or anything" This bothered me a great deal. I knew that we soon had to face the real world and money and everything that comes with having a baby. The baby is not gonna be safe inside me for the rest of his life. Soon enough he's gonna be here outside my body and we will have to make sure that he has food to eat and clothes to be warm in and of course diapers to wet in.

"We don't really have a choice but to manage, do we?" Ricky asked me and I knew he was right.

"Which means we probably need jobs?" I asked him and I knew from his expression that he was thinking along the same lines.

"I'll do my best to find one" Ricky said "It's the right thing to do"

"It's the only thing to do" I added "and of course I will try too. I just don't know who wants too hire a pregnant girl"

"Don't worry about it, Amy" Ricky said "It's gonna be okay. You don't think I will let the two of you starve?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" I asked him.

"Just that I will do the best I can to find a job and if I have to I will get two"

*

The meatloaf that I had cooked (with some help of Ricky) was in the oven and the potatoes were boiling on the stove. The groceries were unpacked since long and Ricky and I could finally take a rest on the sofa. I had barley fallen asleep on Ricky's shoulder as I heard the front door open and Ashley and my mother came.

"Is everything okay here?" My mother asked and took off her coat. "Did you get everything?"

"I think so" I said trying to hide a yawn. "The food will be ready any minute, we will just have to set the table" I was on my way up but my mother stopped me.

"You know what, Ashley can do that" She said and then left the room leaving me and Ricky alone. I sat down on the couch again.

"So this is what's its like caring for a family" I said.

"Yes, it is" Ricky said from behind the newspaper he was holding in his hands.

"What are you reading?" I asked him and looked over on the newspaper from his warm shoulder.

"Just thought I should try and find a job" he said and continued to read.

"So are you finding a job?"

"Maybe"

"Great, what is it?" I asked.

"You'll see" Ricky said and folded the newspaper.

"But I want to know" I demanded.

"You'll just have to wait" He said contemptuously "It's not mine yet"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" I said.

"Come on let's eat" Ricky said and got up from the couch.

"Lovely" I said and followed him into the kitchen.


End file.
